Running Blind
by Just A Starving Writer
Summary: Coincidences just don't happen to Kagome, so when she repeatedly comes across a certain lord on her spontaneous runs, she questions Fate's plan.[SK]
1. April to July

**Running Blind**   
_Just A Starving Writer_

**_Disclaimer:_** nope, not mine.   
**_Author's Plea:_** This should be rather short and pointless.

**Part 1: April, May, June, July **

**April**

It had taken three days this time to turn in all her homework, make up a few tests, and relieve all her old friends that she was still alive, not to mention borrow notes from an overly sensitive Hojo. Three days of complete and utter hell.

Therefore, it came as no surprise that she was happy when she climbed out of the well and into the Feudal Era. Happy beyond measurement...until she noticed no one was waiting for her.

However, her disappoint faded in light of the pure beauty of the land around her. The moonlight, the flowers, the clean air...it was temptation in the form of a serene landscape, a temptation near impossible to resist. Though Kagome was by no means weak, this was simply not something she could pass up. After all, it was completely innocent to want to enjoy such a simple thing.

Having convinced herself that there was absolutely no possible way for this simple pleasure to cause any harm, she dropped her bag to the ground beside the well and took off at a run.

The scenery rushed by in darkened green blur as the cool evening air breathed life into lungs that were tired of the pollution of the modern world. As her muscles fell into a most welcome rhythm, she felt more alive than she had in a long time and, in fact, more in love with life than ever before.

Kagome was well aware of her location. After traveling all over Feudal Japan for years, she had learnt some measure of navigation and the lands surrounding the well were second nature to her. Thus, she was expert when it came to avoiding all the pitfalls and low tree branches. Ducking speedily and jumping over stumps added to the odd sight she surely made, had there been any to see her.

She was worried for a split second when the thought of stray youkai crossed her mind, but she let it slide by her with the wind to flutter into nonexistence. After all, this close to the village it was rare to see a dangerous youkai. As well, there was simply no way something bad could happen on a night as alive as this. This kind of night only allowed positive encounters or, at the very least, promising moonlit fields of flowers.

And thus it was that she burst through the trees into what must have been her destination: a rather large clearing amidst the forest, covered in pale blooms as the white light of the moon lit them to an eerily beautiful brilliance. Skirting the site without allowing her pace to slow, she almost missed the being she shared the night with.

The uncomfortable feeling of eyes watching her finally brought her to a rather sudden stand still. Frozen in mid stride, she turned her panting head slowly to the side to spot her spectator. A perfect match to the location, the taiyoukai glowed with the moon, frosted by the pale light on his shoulders and the pale flowers at his feet.

Surprise ruled supreme. While fear may have been more welcome, Kagome simply couldn't force the emotion to the surface, not with the beauty of the night. For his part, the youkai lord remained still, carefully blank eyes watching every breath of the girl who had now turned to face him.

Whatever he had been expecting, it was doubtful her reaction was it. Giggling with exhausted lungs, she let her sparkling eyes roam the field once more before she turned and ran back the direction she had come. She felt his eyes on her long after she re-entered the forest.

* * *

**May**

Tomorrow, at dawn, they would begin the search again. Tomorrow, at dawn, they would once again leave the safety of the village and seek their destiny...or their death.

But tonight...o, tonight belonged to them. The drizzle had not ceased since the afternoon, when Kagome had once again lugged herself out of the well and into her second life. While it seemed to put everyone else into a rather dreary frame of mind, the miko could not help but smile as she watched the drips collect on the soggy ground.

"Why the hell are you smiling?" the hanyou asked, his attitude not much improved since his hastily eaten bowl of ramen.

"It's just such a nice day," she replied, her smile widening as she took a deep breath of the humid air.

"Feh, it's raining, idiot."

"So? That doesn't mean it's not beautiful."

"Whatever."

Sighing in resignation, she decided perhaps her good cheer was best shared with the landscape. Excusing herself, much to the dismal protests of the shard hunters, she left the security of the dry hut in exchange for the cool wetness of the soft rain.

The longer she walked, the farther away the village grew, and the more she became surrounded by untouched nature, the lighter her step became. Before long, on a particularly dark stretch of road, she felt all the stress that had accumulated from a long week in the present fade into nothing. Giggling like the school girl she was, she extended her arms to the sides and spun, reveling in the purity of the world around her. Without another sound, she took off, no more than an animal in the night, seeking in her speed some source of bliss that she had not yet contained.

How long she had been running, she did not know. While she was still not too terribly far from the village, she knew she was farther than she should be. Still, that thought did not bother her as much as perhaps it should. There was no way she could make herself believe that anything bad could happen on a night as intriguing as this. No, this kind of night was meant for clandestine meetings with secret lovers and late night escapes to fairy rings.

The moon broke out from between the clouds and briefly shed light on the dark world. The sudden inflow of luminosity gave her pause and she stopped her headlong rush to gaze into its source. She was not expecting there to be a being in between the pale satellite and herself.

Once again she felt the strange rush of being watched and once again she met the eyes of the silent lord. He stood upon the cliff far above her, illuminated by the half moon at his back that shadowed his features even as it made her shine in an unearthly glow.

The ever moving clouds once again imprisoned the light, and in the darkness, the moment was lost. Still, she knew he remained but she could not bring herself to care. He hadn't killed her yet and that was in her favor.

Smiling broadly, she turned on her heel and ran back toward the village in the rain.

* * *

The demon was playing with her. Already separating her from her companions, it seemed intent upon killing her in the most gruesome way possible before stealing her shards of the jewel. 

Of course, as usual, the demon was underestimating her. The bow and arrows she carried were potentially deadly when laced with miko powers, something she could surely grip onto under such dire circumstances. Still, she hesitated, and seeing this, the demon attacked.

Her hands were trembling as she released the arrow. With no one to protect but herself, the temper that usually gave her courage was not present. It threw off her aim and the demon was easily able to dodge the arrow and come at her.

She drew out another arrow but tripped in her semi-conscious backwards progress before she had the opportunity to even fit it into her bow. Confident death was upon her, she fiercely shut her eyes as the youkai towered over her. With the sudden feeling of breath upon her face, she instinctively thrust the arrow still gripped in her hand up and into her attacker.

More than anything, she sensed his demise. The additional feeling of dust covering her still shaking form was only extra proof. Still, she refused to open her eyes until a few minutes passed and she could do so without fear of surprise.

It felt like too much. Covered in the remains of a youkai that had been intent upon her bloody demise, she suddenly wanted to be free of all the responsibilities that kept her coming back to this time period. Two years of shard hunting, two years of chasing an ultimate villain, two years of ruining her future life, and now she wanted nothing more than to be free of it. Though it was beyond a doubt her that honor would never allow her to do such a thing, she could still ache for that freedom that would not be given to her until her journey was completed.

Stumbling to a nearby stream, she limply splashed water on her face before giving up and walking into the cold water. Kneeling in the middle of the stream, she wanted to cry for all the times she had come close to death.

In the back of her mind, she recognized the all too familiar sensation of someone watching her. Turning dull, teary eyes to the other bank, she spotted between the trees the all too familiar taiyoukai. He wasn't alone this time, but he might have well have been. Dimly she realized the annoying retainer was missing but the two-headed dragon labored behind him, carrying its burden of a sleeping child quite easily. Currently, both demons had stopped to look upon her.

He was closer this time and this gave her the ability to recognize the expression that formed on his face. It did not surprise her, having seen it directed at both her and Inuyasha in the past. The obvious disgust at her weakness made her ashamed and instantly she avoided his intense gaze, focusing instead on her hands as they interrupted the surface flow of the water.

The instant the realization hit her she looked up to meet once more the cold eyes of the lord.

Despite all odds, despite the danger of her quest, despite the ultimate enemy, Kagome was still alive, and that was something. There was no need to mope while she still lived. In fact, it was all the more important considering her lifestyle that she experience life as fully as possible.

Grinning broadly at the taiyoukai, she stood up, letting the water fall from her form even as she turned back towards the bank. She could vaguely hear her friends calling for her in the distance and she needed to find them before they worried themselves.

Before rushing off to her comrades to no doubt begin bandaging their injuries, she took one last look across the stream, only to see nothing. Smiling, she ran into the woods.

Kagome decided that one of these days, she was going to thank him.

* * *

**June**

The world was a soggy mess and still they toiled onward. Too far from any village to be able to seek any human habitation, they were left walking in the drenching downpour without shelter.

"Inuyasha!" she yelled over the monotonous roar of the ever falling rain. "We need to get someplace dry!"

"No! We need to keep going!"

"But Inuyasha, we're soaking!"

"So?"

"Please?"

The plea in her tone gave the hanyou a moment of pause and, relenting, he told them to find what cover they could while he looked for more adequate housing for the night. Before long, he returned and led them to the safety of a small rocky overhang. It wasn't much, but it was all they needed.

However, the miko could not sleep. The water that fell from the overhang was thunderous to her ears and she ached for silence after the loud day.

Long after her companions had drifted into exhausted sleep, she remained awake. It wasn't until the rain slowed and stopped that any amount of peace washed over her soul. Wishing to experience the water's relent personally, she silently removed herself from her sleeping bag and walked out into the night.

Everything was still, patiently waiting the next rush of drowning rain. In respect for the land, she willed herself to be as quiet as possible so as to not disturb the peace. Water glistened on every leaf and blade of grass, pooled in every shallow. The saturated ground accepted her careful steps with a traditional soggy squish as she ventured further.

She felt the eyes on her but was unable to locate the source. Though reason told her to return, she could not force herself to turn away from this quiet landscape. Nothing bad could happen on a night as tranquil as this. Nights such as this were made for writing poetry or sipping tea in a cozy robe.

However, before she could continue her thoughts, the clouds grew angry at the reprieve and bust open once again, practically drowning the miko without warning. Turning back towards her companions, she ran. She had gone very little distance, only getting up to half speed, when the surface she was so dependent on moved without her consent. Kagome slid a good meter before tipping backwards into the muddy ground.

The rain poured. The puddle grew bigger. Her hair hung haphazardly across her face as the mud seeped into her clothing. It could have been quite the uncomfortable position, but it only made the young woman happy. She laughed, hard and long, an arm across her stomach to hold back the peals of humor.

Lightning that had held back until now ripped through the sky, bringing sudden daylight onto the scene, and even through the veil of wet hair and rain, the miko could see the distant, partially hidden form of her spectator. Pushing the strangled locks behind her ears, she smiled at the darkness that had once again obscured him from her sight. Still, she had seen him and knew he was there.

She laughed again, the roaring thunder covering the sounds even as she struggled to regain her feet. With a smile, she took off at a much safer jog back to the safety of her friends.

* * *

**July**

The suffocating heat stole the energy straight from their drained limbs. Even though they had only journeyed for half a day, the group knew it was time to take a break before their bodies forced them to.

As the men remained and prepared a quick meal, the women excused themselves to a nearby pond. Though its size left something to be desired, it was deep, cool, and shadowed by a well placed ledge. It was all they needed.

The bath with Sango was a relaxing affair of cleaning and modified girl talk. However, the slayer was quick to excuse herself while the miko was left to find her own devices. As it was, the ledge was tempting her. The pond was plenty deep and the rock didn't appear to be un-jumpable.

With a determined grin, she changed quickly into a bathing suit just in case the worst should happen. She wasn't stupid. She knew very well her intended plan was dangerous, perhaps not as dangerous as her daily life, but she would be risking injury. To ensure the preservation of her modesty if such was the case, the swimming suit would be donned.

The climb up to the top of the precipice was easier than she expected and soon she was looking into the pool from up high. Stepping back a good few yards from the edge, she tensed into a runner's stance. A snapped twig shocked her into action and suddenly she was mid air, laughing with all the frightened enthusiasm of a child doing the forbidden. As she submerged into the cool water, she felt rejuvenated beyond belief. Resurfacing, she wiped slick hair her from her face before looking up to the cliff from which she had just been airborne.

There, looking upon her with a hardened mix of slight confusion and careful blankness, was the taiyoukai, his white attire shining in the bright light of the sun.

The miko was in awe. He looked so regal, as he always had, but now he seemed to be emitting an odd combination of pale emotions that only made him all the more formidable. As an enemy, he had never been more frightening, but as a being, he had never been more beautiful.

She wanted to curse herself for her stupidity but found those negative feelings strangely lacking. Instead, she reminded herself that in the months she had been running, literally, into this specific demon, he had yet to kill her. If anything, he did her a favor. She took it as a good sign.

Releasing a rather brilliant smile quite easily, she dove underwater and swam back to the edge of the small pond where her towel was calling for her attention. When she reemerged from the water, she risked a glance back at the ledge.

Her spectator was gone.


	2. August & September

**Running Blind**   
_Just A Starving Writer_

**_Disclaimer:_** nope, not mine.

**Part 2: August, September **

**August**

"Miroku? Are you awake?" the miko whispered softly across the campfire.

"Kagome-sama? Is there anything you require?" the monk replied just as softly.

"I...I just need your advice."

"Of course, I am always willing to give a beautiful woman the benefit of my thoughts."

"Thanks, but not here." Ignoring his comment, her eyes made a pointed glance over to the sleeping hanyou before meeting the understanding gaze of the monk.

"Yes, perhaps you are right. Follow me."

As they left the peace of their campsite, the two remained silent until they reached an oddly placed rocky outcrop. Using the stones as seats, they settled themselves and waited for their eyes to adjust further to the limited light before turning to the matter at hand.

"What do you seek advice on, Kagome-sama?" the monk began, all of his previously playful demeanor falling as he once again took the position as confidante.

"Well, it's just...do you think you can fall out of love with someone?" she asked, her strained voice giving some hint to the emotional turmoil that was mirrored in her eyes.

"I suppose it is possible, but then one would have to question if it was really love to begin with."

"Yeah, that's what I thought." Her self depreciating sigh bothered him.

"Does this concern Inuyasha?"

"Yeah..."

"I have noticed you growing more distant from him. Do you know what has caused this change?"

"Not really...It's just that, well, lately I feel like there's something more out there. Like what I might have with Inuyasha is nothing compared to what is possible...Life is so big and beautiful and I don't want to miss any of it by waiting for something that may be impossible...I just don't know if he's worth it anymore, I guess."

"You have given this some thought, then."

"Yes, all the time. I just don't know what to do, you know? I thought I was in love with him for so long that now that I know I'm not, I'm not quite sure how to act."

"Have you considered acting like yourself, Kagome-sama?"

She smiled faintly and he accepted the gift with a grin of his own.

"I guess I can do that. Thank you, Miroku. I really appreciate it."

"There is no need for thanks. I well enjoy the company of a beautiful woman."

Slapping him playfully across the arm, she stood to return to camp but suddenly froze in place as she felt eyes on her once again. Taking notice of her stance, the monk immediately raised his staff in preparation for battle when a figure emerged between the trees in the distance. While the monk only further tensed with somber anticipation, the miko seemed to relax.

Tilting her head to the side with an air of curiosity, she finally chose to address her recent spectator.

"Are you following me?" she asked seriously, even if there was a hint of warm amusement dancing in her eyes.

The taiyoukai's only response was a raising of his nose that clearly said how ridiculous he thought of that idea. Without a sound, he turned from the pair and melted back into the forest.

The young woman had yet to notice that the still nervous monk had shocked eyes locked onto her.

"Kagome-sama?" he asked hesitantly. Turning her attention back to him, she was instantly perturbed by his less than confident demeanor. "Have you come across Sesshoumaru before?"

"Yeah," she answered, not quite understanding his problem with the issue. After all, she was still alive and the taiyoukai hadn't even harassed them in months. "I see him sometimes when I go running. He never says anything, just stares at me like I've interrupted his alone time or something. It's kind of funny, actually."

"Are you sure it's Sesshoumaru?"

"Of course. How can I not recognize him?" She paused in thought before beginning again. "He hasn't hurt me or anything, so I don't really see the need to bring this up to Inuyasha. He'll only get angry and do something drastic. Can we keep this between us?"

The monk turned his eyes back to the location the taiyoukai had recently vacated and pondered the situation as he leaned against his staff.

"I suppose that shouldn't be a problem," he answered at length. "But," he continued, locking his gaze with hers. "You had better take care of yourself."

She nodded in serious agreement before breaking into a smile, the dark stealing very little of the brilliance. Accepting the agreement, they walked in companionable silence back to the campsite.

* * *

**September**

If she knew anything about illness, she knew had a fever. But she convinced herself it was nothing. After all, it would only set them back in their shard hunting if she had to go home, or even back to Kaede. It would pass, it had to, and in the meantime, she could only wait it out and do the best she could to keep up with the rest of the group.

However, before long, even she realized how impossible that was. Her bicycle was not cooperating with the rocky road and both Inuyasha and Kirara, carrying the others, were far ahead. Still, she needed a rest before she fainted. Wearily stepping off the bike, she stumbled gracelessly to the hard ground. While she waited for the world to stop spinning, she wiped sweat off her forehead with a trembling hand.

The dizziness only seemed to be growing worse and in a vain attempt to save herself some pain, she lowered herself onto her back.

There was no denying it now. She definitely had a fever and medication would be necessary. How unfortunate it was that her first aide kit had gone missing several days ago. It was, of course, on her list of things to get when she went home, but for now she would have to rely on herbal remedies, which were not always as helpful.

Turning her tired head to the side, she spotted her water bottle where it had rolled after falling out of her bicyle's basket. After a few attempts to reach it, she decided it was futile. She pinched her eyes closed for a moment to ward off another bout of wooziness. When she opened them again, she was almost certain she was hallucinating.

Giving in to the illness, her last thought was of blank golden eyes.

* * *

"Is Kagome going to be okay?" a childish voice echoed through her ears. 

"Her fever broke a while ago and the herbs seem to be working," another voice responded sagely. Instantly she recognized Miroku.

"It's rather lucky she was able to gather those plants before she passed out," a rather worried Sango stated.

"Yes, rather fortunate indeed. Though I find it odd the herbs were laid so carefully while the rest of her belongings were scattered.

"It didn't smell right," the hanyou hesitantly added.

"What do you mean, Inuyasha?"

"I mean, it felt all wrong. Like someone else had been there, but there wasn't a smell or anything. Everything felt...bland."

"That is strange."

Before further conversation could continue, the miko realized how dry her throat was and rasped a quiet plea for water. After a few sips of the cool liquid, she was given a warm concoction of boiled herbs and bundled into a more comfortable upright position.

"How are you feeling, Kagome-sama?" the monk questioned with friendly concern.

"Better, I feel a lot better."

"Stupid girl, you should have told us you were feeling bad," the hanyou interrupted. She merely grinned weakly and turned her attention back to the cup in her grasp. The slayer not so discreetly hit the half demon with her weapon.

"You were very lucky," the monk continued. "Had it not been for the herbs you found, you could have grown much worse."

Her confusion must have been obvious because immediately all attention was focused intently on her. Shifting uncomfortably, she asked what he meant.

"You were not awake when we found you. It looked like you had collapsed and you had a terrible fever. Next to you we found a stack of leaves that we assumed you had gathered to deal with your illness."

"But...I didn't gather any herbs...I don't understand..."

Neither did they. However odd the situation, they were not going to overlook the gift. After another day of rest, the miko was well enough to continue their journey. None could discount the importance the herbs had in her speedy recovery but neither did they wish to speak of it.

A quiet night a few days later, as they camped on their way back to the well, she drifted away from her friends to seek a moment of solace to drink her tea. Sitting on a ledge overlooking a vast field of late summer flowers, she pondered the circumstances and the recent changes in her life.

Slowly, as the tea soothed her throat, she was warmed by the almost pleasant feeling of being watched over. Turning her attention back onto the field below, she noticed a being that seemed to glow in the darkness.

Despite the distance, or perhaps because of it, they seemed to reach a silent agreement. Nodding slightly, she watched in quiet awe as the taiyoukai responded in turn. She smiled softly as he disappeared into the night.

* * *

The more she thought about it, the more confused she became on the actions of one suspicious taiyoukai. 

Her first assumption had been that the herbal gift was in thanks for keeping their strange meetings secret from the hanyou. No doubt, he had heard her discussion with Miroku and appreciated it. However, while that made sense for any other being, she found it unfitting for the lord. Why would he care that she keep his brother in the dark over such a trivial matter? Why wouldn't he ensure her silence by more threatening means? It certainly seemed the more likely thing for him to do.

Her previous encounters with him could be more simply explained away. To begin with, she doubted killing her was much of a challenge for him, not to mention he would risk sullying himself with human blood. In addition, he didn't seem much for wanton slaughter. While he was unquestionably the most lethal demon she knew, he was not the most deadly, simply because he spared the lives of those who were unworthy of his attention. In her mind, she was not worth the effort.

Then of course, there was the whole jewel business. He had undoubtedly learned by now that she had the ability to detect and purify jewel shards. If he was capable of complicated thought at all, which he surely was, the idea had occurred to him that she was more valuable alive than dead. After all, if he killed her, then how would he ever get rid of the pestilence that was the Shikon no Tama?

However, beyond that, she was clueless. While she did not come across him every time she ran, the amount was still surprisingly large. Though he had not visited the shard hunters as a whole, her odds were rather good that he would be found while on a jog. In the present, this would be called a coincidence, but she had lived her life with the knowledge that coincidences were rarer than Fate. She wanted to believe it was random, but her heart would simply not allow it. One could not be dragged into a well on shrine grounds on her birthday and count all other interesting occurrences as accidents.

But that idea left her in the unknowing dark. If it was not coincidence, what was it? Was it as she had half jokingly asked? Was he indeed following her or was it something infinitely more complicated?

She shook her head in an attempt to free it of the troublesome thoughts. It was simply no good pondering such things when Fate was content enough to leave her presently clueless. There was really only one thing she could do: wait and see.

Still, that didn't solve the issue of the taiyoukai's 'gift'. Nothing she had seen in his previous actions even hinted at this part of his character. Given she had little experience in reading the lord and, more often than not, he was not in the best of moods, that still didn't provide her an answer.

"What are you thinking about so seriously?" a voice disturbed her. Focusing back on the real world, she saw Sango looking upon her with curious concern.

"Oh, nothing," she lied.

"That didn't look like nothing," the slayer friendly chastised causing the miko to blush.

"Well, I was trying to...figure out the motivations of a friend," she improvised, hoping no one noticed her poor acting skills. "I met this guy back at home and I don't know what he's thinking. It bothers me because I'm not quite sure if he considers us friends or not."

Perhaps it wasn't the best lie ever, but it was all she could come up with on the spot and while she could completely obscure the truth, she desperately wanted some advice on it.

"What makes you think he wouldn't?" the slayer asked, glad to be of assistance to her friend.

"Well, he used to hate me. I never really hated him, but he really hated me. But I've run into him a couple times outside of school and though we never say anything to each other, I have a feeling he doesn't hate me as much anymore. In fact, he even might have done something nice for me."

While the slayer considered this information, the monk turned to the miko with an unreadable expression.

"That is strange," the slayer finally said. "I wonder what made him change his mind."

"I don't know. That's what's bothering me. While it would be nice to have him as a friend, I just don't know what's really going on in his mind....It feels as if I'm going into this blind, you know?"

The slayer nodded in sympathy while the monk turned a thoughtful gaze back to the road in front of them.

Their trek of silent reflection was brought to a sudden end when the hanyou leading their group tensed and instantly drew out his great sword.

"What is it, Inuyasha?" the monk asked as he too prepared for attack.

"Sesshoumaru," the hanyou practically hissed.

Immediately, the group was in battle mode, except for the miko who tensed with a completely unrelated emotion. Scanning the woods to the side of the road, she was the first to spot the taiyoukai as he journeyed with his small entourage, apparently traveling perpendicular to their path.

For the briefest of instants, the eyes of the miko and lord met and she convinced herself she was only imagining the almost non-existent softening of his features before he turned a hardened gaze onto his brother.

"Put your sword away, half breed," he calmly ordered, no hint of brotherly affection present in his cold tone.

The lord walked with the stiff grace that marked him as a member, at heart at least, of aristocracy, trailed by his retainer, pack beast, and ward. The tense silence was almost deafening until the little girl skipped up to her lord and whispered something that, despite the other demons present, made it to his ears alone. With a slight nod, the child smiled broadly before skipping up to the stunned miko.

"Kagome-sama," she began as she held out a small bouquet of early Fall wildflowers. "I picked these flowers myself!"

Stiffly accepting the gift, she grinned as the child smiled widely, bowed and skipped off into the woods after her lord. Turning her attention back to the flowers in her hand, it took her a good few minutes to realize her companions were openly staring at her.

"What the HELL was that?" the hanyou demanded, even as he sheathed Tessaiga.

The miko only turned dumbfounded eyes on everyone present before responding that she had no idea. It was quite the truth. After all, she couldn't even remember the girl's name, but the child obviously knew hers, which could only mean she had been informed by her strange company. As for the respectful title and flowers...she was just as clueless as the others.

They continued their journey in silence quite different than before.

Inuyasha fumed quietly.

Sango snuck suspicious glances at her friend.

Miroku lost himself to his thoughts, his brow furrowed with concentration.

Kagome stumbled along, flowers gripped tightly in her hand, occasionally bringing them to her nose to smell the potent fragrance.

There was no question about it in her mind now. Something complicated was going on beneath the surface of the taiyoukai...and she had no idea what it was.


	3. October

**Running Blind**   
_Just A Starving Writer_

**_Disclaimer:_** nope, not mine.   
**_Author's Exclamation:_** Um...wow. That was quite an unexpectedly great response for this little story. Um...I hope I don't disappoint anyone...ehh...I'm so screwed.

**Part 3: October **

* * *

**October**

History was a wonderful thing, she decided. The study of it prevented one from making the mistakes of her predecessors and eventually bringing peace to the world through knowledge of what had worked, however shortly, so that one might work to preserve it.

History was a wonderful thing indeed, but she could deal without the history test next week. Not to mention it was a bit disorienting studying the distant past while in the past. Perhaps if she was studying the Feudal Era, it wouldn't be so strange, but no, she was currently covering an era far earlier in time. Though she had heard that powerful demons often lived for centuries, odds were slim that she could find a cooperative one that had been alive in the Kamakura Period, though Myoga was a possibility.

The morning was beautiful and she hated to waste it studying, but it simply had to be done. She couldn't afford to let the cloudless sky above her or warm spring beside her distract her from her duty to her own time even if that duty involved reading about another time. It was quite mind boggling if she bothered to consider it, but she refused to do such a silly thing.

She had rushed through her bath just so she could have some time to read before she was called back to camp to once again start the hunt, but it was not going well. Kagome had already read about the introduction of the Zen sect, the Jokyu disturbance, and the Joei Shikimoku legal code. However, she was clueless when it came to the Mongol invasions of Japan. Despite all odds, the Mongols had retreated in defeat both times. Why?

She knew they attacked by sea at the island of Kyushu in 1274. She knew they had the ancient Japanese outnumbered. She knew they had more advanced technique and weaponry. So, why then did they retreat?

"War is so strange..." she mumbled to herself. "They get all the way there, prepared and everything, only to turn around? Stupid Mongols..."

"Yes."

The voice shocked her clear into a standing position, her history book sliding haphazardly to the dewy ground. There, lounging majestically against a tree not 15 feet from her was the taiyoukai. It being this was the first word he had spoken to her when they were alone, she was a bit surprised that it was a positive one.

"Yes what?" she asked as she calmed her racing heart and slid back to her spot against a particularly comfortable boulder that was warmed from its proximity to the small spring as well as her own body heat.

"The Mongols were fools."

Of course, she was intrigued now. Not only was the elusive and lethal taiyoukai speaking to her, he was helping her with her history homework. Interesting indeed.

"But they had everything going for them. How could they have been defeated?"

"They were foolish enough to discount their greatest enemy."

"I don't understand."

His countenance most obviously took a turn for the worst. The disgust was clear as was the apparent knowledge of her stupidity. However, her confusion kept her anger in check when she swore there was a bit of fleeting disappointment mixed in his features.

"Nature. They ignored the signs offered and were forced to retreat due to the weather."

"Both times?"

"Yes."

She paused in thought, tilting her head to the side as she considered this new knowledge. Grinning slyly, she turned her eyes back to the now blank taiyoukai.

"You're right," she stated wisely, ignoring the blatant expression of indignation that crossed his face. "They were stupid."

He merely nodded in agreement.

Deciding not to take advantage of his current mood lest he lose it and decide her death was not as troublesome as it could be, she retrieved her history book and continued reading. Caught up in the other era, she barely noticed when the hanyou intruded upon her.

"So you've been wasting time again?" Inuyasha asked with irritation.

Marking her page and closing the book as she rose, she smiled brightly to the unsuspecting hanyou. Now that she was free of the burden of studying for some time, she could once again take in the beauty of nature. With one last look at the presently deserted tree that was formerly the resting spot for one strange youkai, she walked lightly back to camp, breathing in the warming air.

Kagome giggled slightly, further annoying the hanyou. She could only wonder what the taiyoukai thought about discussing a centuries old military invasion with a young human miko.

* * *

Exiting the well into the Feudal Era, she instantly was aware of the complete stillness of the clearing. Fear born of experience caused her to stiffen in expectation and ready herself for anything. 

Shouts in the distance alerted her to the position of her friends whom, if she could safely assume from their frantic yells, were currently in mid-battle. Dropping her bag next to the well, she took off in their direction.

However, she forgot in her headlong rush to help that the woods were most dangerous at times such as these. Her progress was rather suddenly halted when a human-like youkai grabbed her harshly.

"Be quiet or die," he ordered viciously even as nails dug into her stomach and arm. Nodding her reluctant acceptance, she could only wait for an opportunity to present itself.

Her captor seemed content enough for present to merely hold her still and intently listen to the progress of the battle in the near distance. Quietly inching backwards, his prize against his chest, the youkai never had any warning before he died. Neither did Kagome, who only became aware of that fact when the heavy body tilted forward, and, trapped in his arms, she was dragged to the forest floor underneath the hefty demon.

For a terrifying moment, she was certain she had only been rescued to be kidnapped again. It was logical and had happened before. However, when the dead body was lifted off of her quite suddenly, she was instead greeted with a most unexpected sight.

The taiyoukai towered over her, even as he carelessly tossed the remains of her attacker to the side. With an expression borne of shock and left over terror, she met his eyes in stunned silence.

"Why?" she finally managed to choke out, amazed that she had even found her voice.

Her questioned went unanswered. The lord, still carefully blank, turned and left her to her thoughts.

When her friends found her after their battle, she was weeping with relief and confusion.

* * *

She was in a bad mood and she knew it. Of course, it was rather obvious. Already she had slapped Miroku and sat Inuyasha more than necessary. While none of the adults seemed willing to risk incurring her wrath, the fox child couldn't stand to see his Kagome unhappy. 

"What's wrong, Kagome?" he asked plaintively, bright green eyes pleading for an answer.

"Nothing," she quickly quipped back. However, it was a lie and they all knew it. Unfortunately, the truth behind her sour disposition was not something they were prepared to accept.

She was confused and she hated being confused. Every encounter with the demon lord only made it worse. And she was so tired of not understanding him. And it had to be his fault. It wasn't as if she planned on finding him every time. Not to mention, she doubted Fate could be this sadistic.

O, how much easier it would be if he would allow himself to be read! But no...he was too proud for something like that. The only expressions he seemed to allow were the ones she was already familiar with: anger, irritation, indignation, disgust. More recently, he had let confusion and disappointment slip through his façade, but it was still very little to go on. Understanding a being who was content to remain blank was near impossible, so how could she be expected to comprehend his obscure motives?

She was so involved in her angry thoughts that she failed to concentrate on the less than smooth road she treaded. With a sudden jarring pain, she tripped on a rather large rock protruding from the path and landed hard on the still cool earth.

For a brief second, her anger increased as she began to blame her clumsiness on the taiyoukai. However, her usual disposition kicked in, reminding her how silly that line of reasoning was. With a sigh of resignation, she rolled over onto her back, ignoring the pain of her bruising arms.

The sky was a perfect picture of autumn: clear blue sky dotted by icy tendrils of cirrus clouds and flanked by the bold green of the conifers and colorful leaves of deciduous trees that were preparing themselves for a long winter.

She smiled softly. Her previous thoughts didn't seem as important now that the beauty of Nature had reasserted itself.

"Kagome-chan?" Sango asked hesitantly, seemingly waiting for an explosion of fury from the miko. Turning her head to catch a distorted view of her friend, the miko widened her smile.

"I'm fine, Sango," she said honestly. Turning her attention back to the sky, her eyes softened. "How can I not be fine on such a beautiful day?"

* * *

She had been aching for a run for the last few hours. Leg muscles tensing and relaxing, eyes roaming for a good path to weave through the woods, Kagome wanted nothing more than to release herself to the waning day. 

When the hanyou finally called the end of the day's trek, she frantically yelled her apologies and took off, the very embodiment of a deer. Ignoring the pleas of her friends, she sought to commune with Nature.

If possible, this dying day was even more beautiful than any of the previous. The sunset slipping between the darkened boughs of the trees colored the sky in a vast array of oranges and pinks, contrasting sharply with the deep blue that was seeping onto the world from the opposite horizon.

Closing her eyes to concentrate on the feeling of the rapidly cooling air rushing by her exposed skin, she let her senses guide her feet and was slightly amazed at the excellent job they were doing. As she wove her way through the darkening woods, she was more of a specter than a real being.

However, her surreal experience was only amplified when the ground beneath her ceased to exist. Opening her eyes, she rapidly came to the conclusion she was falling, and from the appearance of it, would not survive the landing. Normally, such things would be frightening but not terrifying to such a tremendous degree. Unfortunately, she had the knowledge that no one knew where she was and therefore none would be able to safely stop her fall in time. Fiercely shutting her eyes, she waited for her end.

* * *

She must have fainted, she assumed. However, considering the air still rushing by her and the lack of ground beneath her feet, she hadn't been unconscious for nearly long enough. 

As her mind cleared from its terror induced blindness, she came to realize that the air was passing by her at a different angle than before. Instead of coming from beneath her, she could distinctly feel it in front of her. In addition, she soon came to feel herself being held against someone, her back pressed hard against something cold as an obviously strong arm held her tightly across her lower ribs. The extreme warmth of the arm was welcome after the biting chill of the air and the seeping cold of the object at her back.

"Thank you, Inuyasha," she mumbled, eyes still closed, as she assumed her rescuer was the usual hanyou. The actual identity of her savior was revealed when, with a deep draw of breath she could only guess was from irritation and indignation, the arm loosened and she was once again freefalling.

Screaming in fright, she kept her eyes tightly shut, certain that death was all but guaranteed this time. However, once again, her fall was interrupted when she was rather brutally grabbed mid air and floated to the ground at a more measured pace. As soon as she hit the grass, she sobbed her relief as she kissed the very earth she loved so much.

"Uh, Kagome?" asked a more than slightly confused hanyou. Finally opening her eyes, she noticed that his attention was not focused on her, but instead some figure floating in the sky.

"Is that Sesshoumaru?" the monk asked from the tree he was leaning against to catch his breath.

Looking up, she caught the eyes of the nonchalant taiyoukai. Suddenly, whatever anger that she may have had for him dissipated into blessed nothingness. Smiling brightly, she waved her thanks to the lord whom she could see, even at this distance, was carefully blank. Without a word, he floated away into the encroaching night.

The silence was long and tense, filled with the quiet confusion of the shard hunters and the soundless joy of the miko. As the silence reached a deafening crescendo, the fox child felt the need to break it at all costs.

"Kagome? I don't understand."

Turning to the worried kitsune, a comforting smile graced her features as she held out her arms for the youth who eagerly accepted her offer.

"I don't either, Shippou. I don't either."

* * *

It was amazing how multitudes of candles could chase away the night just as well as a modern light bulb, she decided. Amazing and slightly disturbing. 

The village they had approached that evening had allowed them shelter for the night without question. Within no time, they discovered the reason for their good spirits being the festival that the village was holding in honor of its founding and the good fortune of its inhabitants during the course of the year. It was one of the few locations that had largely been spared from the constant battles that signified the times.

The festival was a happy affair of dancing, singing, and general merriment. The lit lanterns shed frosted light on the best kimonos of the women while the rice wine flowed freely for the benefit of the men.

However, despite her best efforts, Kagome could not be drawn into the festivities. It was all too foreign, too false, too modern. It seemed as if they were painting over the brilliant colors of Nature to resemble something they could control and claim as their own. The knowledge that they would succeed only made her despair all the more

"Are you okay, Kagome-chan?" asked the slayer, surprising the miko from her negative thoughts.

"Yeah, just thinking. I'm going to step out for a bit and get some fresh air."

Sango only nodded before she became distracted by yet another village elder requesting her company. Kagome smiled wryly at her friend's antics before abandoning the village in favor of the quiet of nature.

The land seemed to be at peace, despite the fervor that was occurring just beyond its borders. The trees almost sighed with the expectation of a restful night. Here in the dead of Fall, she could start to feel the chill of the night air as Winter warned the world it was quickly approaching. Shivering despite her sweater, she crossed her arms and cautiously ventured forward, more afraid of disturbing the scenery than any possible danger. Taking deep cleansing breaths of the cool air, she let her body become reacquainted with the beauty of the mostly untouched land around her.

Before long a sluggish brook broke her path and she stopped, watching as the first fallen leaves drifted by on the slow current. Taking a seat on a well placed rock, she let her hand disturb the stream, the cold water causing the skin of her arm to react with the traditional goosebumps. Smiling softly, she withdrew her hand and let her mind wander down untried paths and untouched roads.

Her reverie was disturbed when she felt the familiar prick of eyes upon her. Retreating from her inner sanctum, she looked across the small brook to meet the gaze of the taiyoukai.

She was not surprised to find him there. If anything, she felt as if she had been waiting for him. After a brief time spent accepting each other's presence, she smiled.

"Good evening," she said quietly, doing her best not to disrupt the serenity that surrounded her.

His only response was the soft rustle of silk as he seated himself gracefully against a tree. With great poise even in his relaxation, he rested his only arm on a bent knee. A burning memory of the odd warmth of that arm brought a blush to her face that she hid by allowing her curiosity to take control.

"Why do you keep saving me?"

If anything, he seemed to avoid her pleading eyes, instead focusing on the stream as she was wont to do.

"You have gravely injured Naraku," he stated finally, his smooth and powerful voice blending seamlessly into the atmosphere.

Now more than ever, she realized youkai were more animals than men, more at home with the land in which they roamed than any human could ever hope to be. It humbled her.

"Yes," she finally acknowledged. "I did, once."

He met her eyes and nodded before turning his attention back to the stream.

"You have proven yourself useful."

She accepted what she supposed was the best explanation she would ever get from him with yet another soft smile.

They sat in companionable silence before she chose once again to give her curiosity voice.

"You really aren't following me, are you?"

His confusion, no matter how fleeting or hidden, was still caught by the miko who received her answer with a sigh.

"I didn't think so," she whispered with slight disappointment.

Only the music of the night kept them company as her thoughts drifted.

"I'm beginning to suspect Fate is cruel," she said softly as she once again let her fingers dance on the inky surface of the stream. Her companion wisely remained silent as who would be silly enough to insult Fate?

Swiftly standing and brushing off her skirt, she stared at the taiyoukai who seemed to glow from the opposing bank.

"Yes, Fate is cruel," she stated with confidence. "Why else would it show me what I cannot have?"

Closing her eyes, she took one last deep breath of the clean air before retreating from the brook, letting the unintentional double meaning of her statement stand in the cool air.

When Kagome returned to the festival, she threw herself into the activities. She danced with the men. She gossiped with the ladies. She smiled continually and giggled at all the appropriate times. And she tried to convince herself she was enjoying herself.

She knew it would never happen.

* * *


	4. November & December

**Running Blind**   
_Just A Starving Writer_

**_Disclaimer:_** nope, not mine.   
**_Author's Exclamation:_** Still...Wow. Thanks y'all. Really. I don't deserve it.   
If you were curious, I got a lot of the inspiration from that tiny little meeting in the first movie between Kikyou and His Supreme Awesomeness. Been thinking about those odd comments for months now. (yippee bootleg!)

**Part 4: November, December**

**November**

With one last push of barely existent strength, she pulled herself out of the well. Once firmly in the past, she did little more than lean against the aged wood, reveling in the feeling of the cold ground beneath her. Sliding the flimsy cloth and paper mask off her face, she finally took an unobstructed breath of fresh air.

This was a welcome reprieve from her tortuous week in the modern world, but she couldn't risk staying for long. After all, no one knew she had gone and it was best if no one found out. If Inuyasha came across her while she rested, he would only insist that she stay and she really didn't have the energy for that argument. She couldn't stay, not for more than a few minutes, not while Souta was still sick.

She knew he would be fine. It was only the flu but still, she couldn't stand to see him so weak. It reminded her of all the times she hadn't been around for him and so she could not abandon her only brother now, when he needed her most. But that didn't mean that she didn't need to escape to the fresh air.

Only, that was what bothered her. She had been spoilt, she realized. The air of the modern world was no longer fresh, not after she had experienced the Feudal Era. She had tried to take her rest on the shrine grounds but found it impossible with the noise from the cars, something she had never truly heard before. The modern world was suffocating her, she noted with horror, with its ceaseless noise, its hazy sky, and tainted air. There was no escape in her time so she had only done what was necessary to maintain her sanity. The well had offered her peace of mind and she had taken it.

Kagome wanted to cry. Was Fate truly this cruel? To bring her here, to this world, spoil her own, just to taunt her with what she couldn't have? After all she had accomplished and fought for, after all she had been put through, it wasn't fair, but then she wasn't childish enough to think that fairness truly mattered in any world. Any misconceptions she may have had on that topic were swiftly destroyed after the first discoveries of Naraku's treachery. Miroku's curse wasn't fair, Inuyasha's betrayal wasn't fair, Sango's pain wasn't fair, and that was just the way it was. Life wasn't fair. But that knowledge didn't make it hurt any less.

As silent tears drifted down her cheeks, a bit of warmth against the chilly wind, she turned her head upward and focused on the stars, the unhidden stars that splayed the night with soft light that could never be mimicked.

Her mother and grandfather, to prepare the children for the certain number of English speaking tourists that were sure to visit the shrine each year, had began teaching her the foreign language at a very young age. As her skill increased, both with teaching in school and her own private tutelage at home, she became interested in the different forms the language took. And thus it was that she was introduced to the world renowned works of one William Shakespeare. However, as much as she had loved the lyrical and haunting qualities of his more dramatic works, she had never truly understood some of their deeper themes until now.

"I am Fortune's Fool," she whispered to the quiet sky even as she closed her eyes to block the temptation.

* * *

She must have fallen asleep, she pondered as she opened slightly swollen eyes to see the stars shifted from their previous position. That could only mean she had been gone for far too long. Stretching her stiff muscles, she leaned heavily on the well to pull herself up and was preparing to jump in when she felt a warming presence at her back. Still, she hesitated to face him, if only because he was all the more reason to stay in this world instead of her own.

"You are a fool," he stated with authority, leaving no room for argument. "A fool to forget so easily."

She was curious and confused and finally risked a confrontation.

"Forget what?"

"That you are still alive."

This was the second time that he had drawn her from her drowning pity and she appreciated it all the more. With a smile that could rival the sun in brightness, she bowed her thanks before swinging her feet over the edge of the well. However, one thought on the periphery of her mind stopped her and, sitting on the lip of the structure with her feet dangling into nothingness, she turned her head to the silent taiyoukai.

"You sought me this time, did you not?"

His silence seemed answer enough. Her smile widened.

"I'll try not to forget," she said as she pulled the mask back over her head, declining to put it in place just yet. "I'll try if you do."

And with a push, she was gone.

* * *

They would have to be blind to not notice the change in her, she decided. Every step was lighter, every smile brighter, and it seemed so damn hard to keep herself from floating away on a cloud of happiness. How could one not be happy if they were alive?

She was certain to include both sides of her life in the transformation. No longer would she lose her high spirits upon returning to the modern world for it had just as many marvels. True, it wasn't the same, but then that could be quite appreciated when it came in the form of toilet paper and chocolate. No, the modern world wasn't the pristine wilderness of the Feudal Era, but that didn't make it any less beautiful. Its beauty simply laid in the ingenuity of its people.

Her friends and family seemed most affected by her returned cheerfulness. Family dinners were much warmer, despite the rapidly chilling temperature, and treks through the past were all the more comfortable due to uplifting conversation. It seemed the miko could breathe life into anything and at the moment, she choose to do so everywhere. Life welcomed her all the more because of it.

The only portion of her life that her companions still thought fit to criticize was her runs. While Miroku originally remained silent on the issue, even he had to add a word of comment when the need grew to a nightly affair. Still, she pushed off their concern even as she sprinted into the obscuring woods, hoping each night to grow a little faster and become a little closer to the life she loved so. There was just something in running that made her feel so hugely alive and free and she wouldn't give up that feeling for anything.

It was too simple, she argued. To deny her such a simple pleasure was to deny her air and it was ridiculous. Nothing negative had occurred yet during her nightly runs and nothing would. It appeared, she argued, that she had a guardian watching over her. A glance at Miroku at the time she spoke that suggestion showed that though he was suspicious, he was wisely remaining silent.

More often than not, she came across the blank taiyoukai on her journeys, but their odd relationship, whatever it was, had calmed from what little substance it had to their original silent encounters. However, she half suspected that the meetings were no longer the 'Fated coincidences' of before. Instead, he seemed to willingly take a position as road sign, a steady warning of when she had ventured too far from the safety of her friends. She could almost convince herself that he was watching out for her, a thought she could only attribute to his previous declaration that she had 'proven herself useful.' If that wasn't a compliment from the almighty Lord Sesshoumaru, nothing was. Still, she kidded herself not in her assumptions that she understood even some portion of the quiet demon.

Kagome never mentioned their nearly nightly encounters with her companions, though she suspected Miroku knew more than he let on. At one point, she had been curious that Inuyasha had never once picked up his brother's scent, even after she had come rather close to the youkai. However, after a few nights of seeing him sniff in confusion before giving up, she figured the elder brother had a few tricks regarding tracking that the younger was not aware of. It would certainly explain how, in the past, they had continually been surprised by the demon lord's unexpected presence. Of course it would be that the mighty Sesshoumaru would only let himself be known when he chose. It was yet another facet of the control he seemingly so practiced and sought.

It was an enigma to be sure. He was an enigma. But she troubled her head with it little. All that mattered now was her life and her duty: as a friend, as a daughter, as a sister, as a miko, and as a person. She staunchly refused to dwell on anything that could not be changed and related as such each night she came across her silent companion with a thankful smile as she turned back towards camp.

Still, part of her wondered. Part of her dreamed. Part of her refused to believe that the strange and unlikely bond they had formed would remain this simple. When her thoughts took this turn, she could only shake them loose and hope no one had noticed her impromptu blush. Of course, she knew very well that the monk often caught her red cheeked, but he said nothing and she offered no explanation. Everything would be revealed in time, she decided. For the present, there was no need to worry.

* * *

It was going to be a frosty winter, she noted internally as the cold air stung her lungs. Here in late November, she could already sense the approach of the first major winter storm. Snow was unlikely this early in the season, but it was a possibility. Still, that was all to consider tomorrow. Tonight belonged to her alone.

When she came across the familiar taiyoukai, her body resisted the usual impulse to slow and turn around. Instead, it longed to continue just a little bit longer, go just a little bit farther, enjoy this just a little bit more. And so, with a girlish giggle, she ran right passed the blank demon, blatantly ignoring his silent warning that she had gone far enough for the night.

She would have never guessed in a million years that he would have followed her. Thus it came as a complete surprise when an astoundingly warm, silk clad arm wrapped around her waist, turned her in the opposite direction, and released her, her momentum enough to carry her the first few steps back toward camp. However, as soon as she realized what had happened, she grinned slyly as she used a small tree to fling herself around back to her original direction.

She had only taken a few steps before she was once again forcefully turned toward safety. Laughing out loud, she ran for a full minute before sidestepping and beginning a new course perpendicular to her original. With a surprised but happy gasp, she was once again seized but this time she remained in his hold until her humor faded under the spell his powerful personality exuded. Relaxing into his warm arm, she leaned precariously back onto his armor before rolling her head up to catch what glimpse she could of his expression. Her curiosity was begging her to discover if he was still blank, and indeed he was. The strange light in his eyes she dismissed as the moon's influence even as something in her heart jumped with suppressed joy.

"It is time to return, miko," he stated nonchalantly without loosening his grip, seemingly aware of her intent to further the game with disobedience.

"But the night is so beautiful!" she breathed.

"The night is dangerous for a lone human."

"But I'm not alone, now am I?"

Her remark seemed to surprise him for he was silent for a brief moment. However, in the next instant he released her and then she was the one left pausing.

Seeming to realize she was still leaning against what had once been her enemy, she wasted no further time in taking off, staying within sight of the taiyoukai as she ran between the trees and used low hanging tree branches as leverage for gymnastics moves she had only recently had any aptitude for. Her running, it occurred to her with a smile, was good for more than just her spirit.

Eventually, however, her excitement ebbed as she felt the need to return. There was still a long run back and she needed to preserve her strength if she wanted to reach there within any reasonable amount of time. She had learnt this lesson early in her runs and by now it was a mantra: the farther you go, the longer it takes to get back. Sprinting to her strange protector she stopped short of running into him. With only a bow and a bright smile, she turned on her heel and began the long jog to her friends.

The journey back was a blur and her heart only slowed to a reasonable pace when she was safely encased within her trusted sleeping bag, the extra blankets piled atop to provide the additional warmth that was quickly growing necessary. As her mind replayed the events of the night, she turned away from the fire to hide her blush from her companions. However, upon turning back, she noticed the hanyou sniffing with a decidedly irritated and confused expression while the monk had unreadable eyes trained on her. With a soft, unrelenting smile, she let sleep overtake her.

* * *

**December**

Their meetings had finally reached a nightly occurrence and more often than not, they would play the game she had created that night in late November. Often, she refused to obey his silent order just to bring him into the activity. She looked forward to the odd warmth of his arm after the miles she ran in the cold and disobedience was the easiest path to that most welcome heat.

The encounters occurred with little variation. Occasionally, she would speak to him, usually a taunt or observation, and even less occasionally, he would respond. However, they remained silent most of the time, choosing instead to let the night make its own music.

She was no closer to understanding him and she figured she never really would. Unfortunately, she was much more familiar with own self and therefore was well aware of the growing affection she had for the quiet demon. It was dangerous, this she knew all too well, but it could not be stopped. What would become of her heart, she could not guess, but decided there was no harm in appreciating his company. She was under no illusions of who he was as he never let her forget it through his imposing presence alone. Still, that didn't mean there was more to him than either of them had ever expected.

Before long, the game commenced in that it would occur nightly. She suspected he could no longer resist the chase than she could resist defying him. It was all too strange, but then she decided not to worry about such trivial things. After all, it was also all too strange for a girl from modern Tokyo to be searching the Feudal Era for fragments of a magical jewel that had been extracted from her very body.

Often times, the thought would occur to her what her companions' reactions would be if they witnessed the odd ritual, but once again, she deemed the idea trivial and let it fade. Until such a day happened, there was no need to concern herself with it.

However, that day came much sooner than she could have ever expected.

A daylight encounter hadn't occurred since they had crossed paths and his ward had gifted her with flowers. She later assumed they were simply long overdue. Thus it was that as she traveled a cold road with her companions in the ceaseless search for destiny, the hanyou tensed with anticipation.

"Sesshoumaru," he growled and she relaxed with a soft grin. Though there was no love lost between the brothers, she doubted the lord would go so far as to kill the hanyou. Lately, it seemed his agenda had changed and it hadn't been a worthwhile enterprise in quite some time. Explaining that to the hanyou was useless.

Before long, the imposing taiyoukai came upon them, partially hidden by the trees, his entourage faithfully following. While he made no action to attack, his very presence was enough to put Inuyasha on edge. As it appeared they would be traveling parallel for some time, the suspense could only grow.

The hanyou could not resist a few comments on the supposed cowardice of his brother and Kagome knew all too certain that the lord would only tolerate the insolence for a short while before seeking to teach the half-breed a painful lesson. While perhaps her friend could benefit from his brother's tutelage, she was unwilling to let it escalate that far, not that she had much control over the situation.

With one particularly malicious taunt, the taiyoukai halted. Everyone present, with the obvious exception of the seemingly clueless ward, stood in the expectation of a battle that was surely forthcoming. With a crack of his knuckles, the lord began his assault.

The miko was distraught. She hated to see the siblings fight, now all the more that she had grown close to the elder brother. While she could risk subduing the hanyou, she knew it would only increase his fury through embarrassment. Instead, she needed to find some way to distract the youkai. With a slight grin, she dropped everything she was carrying and ran.

It took some time before she felt his presence rapidly approaching. Obviously, he was giving her the benefit of warning by neglecting to use his full speed. Also, she thought, he was allowing her to gain distance away from her companions who would no doubt be curious as to her sudden departure.

The arm that appeared around her waist stopped her rather suddenly, and in fitting with the laws of motion, her momentum carried her forward still, the additional weight of her captor only adding to her fall. With a delighted gasp, she hit the ground.

It was certainly not the noblest situation the lord had been in, she decided. Still, she imagined it must have been quite the entertaining image, what with their partially entangled limbs on the leaf covered forest floor. With a laugh, she lifted herself enough to free his arm and turned around, resting on her back, ignoring the dried leaves that gathered in her loose hair. He had already partially arisen, getting as far as his knees before their eyes met and locked.

She was in awe. Though his countenance was still schooled in blankness, his eyes portrayed a different picture altogether. Confusion was the most dominant sentiment to work its way past the veil of nonchalance but mixed within was some indeterminable emotion that struggled beneath the surface. With a smile of appreciation for the warm beauty he had allowed to be seen, she lifted a cold hand to his face, halting just before touching, basking in the heat that that seemed to pour from his very being. He was like a star, she thought dimly, coldly brilliant even as he burned hotter than any fire.

Their silent transgression was halted when he suddenly tensed and turned in the direction of the others. Before long, even she could hear the hanyou's calls for her. Gracefully regaining his feet, he held out his hand for her. For a long moment, she could only stare in continued awe at the polite gesture before tentatively putting her hand in his. Within a moment, before she had adequate time to fully appreciate the warmth of his hand enclosed around hers, she was on her feet beside him.

Without a word, he left speedily, only moments before a red blur signaled the hanyou's arrival. She only half listened to his demands for explanation as to why she felt the need to run at such an important time for him, right when he was 'just about to show his brother who was strongest.' She could only lazily grin as she walked away, back towards the road where the monk and slayer awaited.

"What the hell is wrong with you?!" the hanyou finally yelled in frustration as she once again picked up her belongings. Whatever answer she might have intended, if any, was left to ignorance as the monk responded for her.

"Obviously, Kagome-sama had something important to attend to."

With a surprised and thankful smile at Miroku, she resumed their trek.

* * *

The next day dawned bright but the tension was still thick amongst the shard hunters. She supposed the hanyou was still beyond irritated at her stunt of the day before. The monk's eyes seemed to be a constant lock on her. The slayer continued to sneak suspicious glances that the miko continued to notice while the kitsune currently preferred the company of the monk.

She could be frustrated by the attention she was currently receiving, but she let it pass. All would be revealed in time, perhaps sooner than she had expected, but all in time. For now, they could form their own opinions.

As midday approached, she began her pleas on behalf of her comrades for a lunch break. Right when the hanyou was beginning to give in, he stiffened and hurried forward, ignoring their requests for information. As they rounded a bend in the road, they found their leader stopped at a most peculiar sight.

The little girl sat precariously perched upon a boulder as she knitted a bough of evergreen together into a crown. When she noticed her stunned audience, she slid off her rock with all the dexterity of a child and lightly approached the miko, seeming to take no notice of the others.

"Kagome-sama," she said with a bow and smile. "If it does not trouble you, my lord wishes that I remain with you while he and Jaken-sama attend to important business."

Kagome could only nod with dumbfounded agreement even as the hanyou began to voice his objections.

"Why the hell would Sesshoumaru leave you with us?" he demanded. The girl rightly ignored him, a sure sign of her protector's influence, and instead spoke to the miko who was currently giving the hanyou a stern look.

"My lord would ordinarily trust Ah-Un to protect me, but he had need of my friend, and my presence would only slow his progress."

Wiping the unneeded surprise from her face, the miko knelt to the girl's level before smiling brightly and offering her hand. The child took it without hesitation and the agreement was set. Though Kagome could not guess how she had earned the honor presented to her in the form of temporarily custody of his ward, she knew better than to dismiss it.

* * *

The child required very little and adjusted to the life of the shard hunters with absurd ease. The only issue she had trouble with was the concept of scheduled meals. While the miko had previously taken no thought of the regularity of their food stops, she became well aware when the ward asked to be excused to forage. When Kagome explained they would soon stop to eat, the girl had smiled her thanks and resumed her soft humming.

The miko had eyed her curiously, noting that the girl never strayed far from her side. It was apparent the child had been instructed in her behavior during her 'visit.' Kagome could only imagine that conversation while stifling a giggle, much to the enjoyment of the ward.

However, that evening she discovered what could have possibly been one of the main reasons for leaving the child with her. When she felt the familiar call for a run, the ward had grabbed her hand, and with pleading eyes, asked that she not be left alone with the strangers. Never one to deny a child, she had relented and, much to everyone's relief, forgone her nightly run.

The same event occurred the next night and the following. After four days without her traditional commune with Nature in jogging form, she sought answers from the only available source.

"Rin, what is the real reason Sesshoumaru-sama sent you to me?"

"My lord had business to attend to and stated that you were the only one he could trust with my safety."

Of course, though they had suspected as much, they were still sufficiently shocked that the lord had actually spoken the words.

"What else did he tell you?" the miko continued.

"That I should not allow you to leave my sight though he mentioned it might be rather difficult."

Both miko and child could only stifle a giggle at that, ignoring the others as they looked on in obvious bewilderment.

"Kagome-sama?" the child asked, a hint of a plea in her sweet voice. "Will you be joining us soon? Sesshoumaru-sama, Jaken-sama, and I?"

She could never decide if in that moment her skin was drained or burned with a blush. Either way, she suspected her reaction was very telling.

"Why would you think that?" she practically whispered.

The ward looked into the distance before once again meeting her gaze.

"He is different after he sees you," Rin stated with what could only be complete and serious honesty.

Kagome could only stare in wonder before a grin crept across her face. The girl responded with a bright smile.

"Is that so?" the miko asked with a giddy laugh. Rin only giggled as she nodded.

With a happy sigh, the miko held out her hand which the girl took as they continued their trek, leaving the hanyou rather unsatisfied.

"Wait a damn minute! What the hell is going on here!" he insisted.

"Not now, Inuyasha," she responded while gesturing toward the ward.

This discussion was no doubt saved until it could be continued without the presence of innocents, as Miroku explained to the irate hanyou. While he seemed unhappy with the whole situation, Kagome ignored his glare, choosing instead to smile softly and let her mind wander over the information she had received.

* * *


	5. December & January

**Running Blind**  
_Just A Starving Writer_

**_Disclaimer:_** nope, not mine.

**Part 5: December, January**

* * *

**December**

"Kagome-sama?"

The voice startled her from her dreamy reverie. Looking across the fire, she met the eyes of the monk.

"Might I have a word with you?" he asked quietly.

Smiling her agreement, she made sure there were enough blankets on the sleeping children before following him outside the reach of the fire.

"Miroku?"

"You need to tell them, Kagome," he stated plainly, dropping the honorific to further his point. "Inuyasha will be mad, but he will only grow angrier if you continue to keep this secret."

She slowly nodded as she noticed other figures joining them. Before long she had three sets of eyes trained on her, demanding explanation. With a sigh of resignation, she began.

"It was an accident at first. Sometimes I would just run into him."

Even in the dark, she could see the hanyou's eyebrow twitch.

"I didn't say anything because it didn't seem important." She ignored the huff of indignation. "Because, well, nothing happened. Before long, I guess you could say we grew accustomed to it and sometimes would even share a few words."

"Like what? 'Die'?" the hanyou commented.

"I owe him me life, Inuyasha. When he dropped me from the sky and you caught me? That was because I ran off a cliff. When you found me crying in the woods with a dead youkai? He killed it. Even that time I fainted from fever…it was him who left the herbs. I wasn't going to spoil that with your petty sibling rivalry. I owed him my thanks and I gave it through silence."

Her statement had everyone shocked, as she could plainly see. Apparently even the monk hadn't guessed as much. Unfortunately, they recovered all too soon.

"And now?" the slayer questioned.

"I see him when I run every night. He tells me when its time to go back." If she neglected to speak of their odd conversations or odder games, it was only out of fear and gratitude. There was simply no need for them to know.

"Is that all?"

Kagome had never thought of herself as a terribly defensive person, but that question caused her to single out the asker with a hardened spark in her eyes.

"Yes, Miroku. That is all," she answered blankly.

She couldn't tell them about her growing affection for the lord. They wouldn't approve. Not that she approved either, but there wasn't much she could do about it. There really wasn't a way to make herself stop caring for him so there was no use even bringing it up.

The monk seemed to evaluate the resolution in her eyes before nodding and beginning the short trek back to the campsite. The slayer soon followed. In short order, she was left with only the hanyou for company.

She was surprised really. For now, he had neglected his traditional post as obnoxious friend and instead had a thoughtful look on his face.

"Kagome," he began softly. She avoided his eyes with something resembling shame.

"It's dangerous. What you are doing is dangerous," he continued. She was confused and her upraised head must have said as much.

"Promise me something, Kagome," he stated as he put a friendly hand on her shoulder. "Promise me you'll be careful. And promise me that next time we come across Myoga, you tell him what's going on. Promise me."

She nodded before stumbling out the words. Now she was beyond confused. Vaguely she wondered if there would ever be a time she would know what was going on.

Without another word, they walked back to the camp.

* * *

**January**

She had been unable to celebrate the New Year with her family because of the responsibility she had been given for the ward. Of course, the girl was trying to make up for it. Rin was more of a helper than anything, and it required very little effort to watch her. Still, Kagome missed her family. Sending Inuyasha through the well with a note on her situation soothed her nerves slightly but not entirely.

To add to her discomfort, it had been two weeks without a run. Previously, she had thought the problems some people had with breaking serious addictions trivial but now she knew better. If quitting smoking was even half as bad as this, she would forever sympathize.

Once again, the child seemed to sense her growing restlessness. Whenever Kagome was about ready to drop everything, including the grand honor she had been given, Rin took off with a smile, running ahead on the trail, always still on the trail, and provided her a partial outlet.

Chasing the girl released some of her anxiety as did listening to the child's stories regarding her experiences with her unlikely protectors. Everyone loved her descriptions of the retainer's torture at the girl's skilled hands. The only thing the ward seemed lax to speak of was the circumstances regarding her addition to the taiyoukai's group. However, they recognized her discomfort and allowed her the reprieve.

Over the days, the child gradually became more familiar with the others of the group. While she was still wary of the hanyou, she was more open to the slayer and monk and chatted continually with the fox. It warmed Kagome's heart.

Still, despite Rin's attempts to relieve some of the strain and despite the other's advice and warnings, she longed to run again. Each night, after the children had drifted asleep, she contemplated leaving them, just for a short while, just for a short run. However, she knew it was folly. If the taiyoukai came to know she had 'abandoned' his ward, for even a few minutes, she would lose what respect he had given her, which was considerable for him.

And that was it, she figured on one particularly cold night. She forewent running because she was afraid he wouldn't be there…and because if he was there, he would know she had left the child and then he would never be there again.

That thought hurt more than she was willing to admit. Once, waking up to the sounds of her own sobs, she was met by the eyes of a concerned girl.

"Don't worry, Kagome-sama," she had whispered while wiping the tears from her cheeks with her tiny hand. "He'll return for us. Rin knows it. He always comes back."

And Kagome trusted her. The child rarely fell into the third person form of speech and when she did, it seemed it was to make a point. And Kagome believed her on this. He would come back.

But what would happen then?

* * *

The day was better, she thought. The wind wasn't as biting, the chill wasn't as seeping, and the exposed sun sought to warm their bodies even as they trudged along the long road. However, the air was tense. With every breath, she knew something important was going to happen.

With a start, she felt the tingling that signified the first jewel shards they had come across since taking custody of the ward. As she tensed in expectation of a battle, she felt yet another sensation strike along her spine. Feeling the insistent tug of the girl by her side, she looked down to discover the child smiling with a knowing glint. So she felt it too? Then it was verified: he had returned. But first, something needed to be done about the shards.

"Inuyasha…" she began before being cut off.

"That bastard," he growled. She sighed. He must have discovered his brother's presence as well.

"Shards, Inuyasha…" she began again.

"I know," he hissed, interrupting her again. Her lack of understanding lasted for all of two minutes until the hanyou sidestepped to avoid being hit by a cyclone that had seemingly appeared out of nowhere.

"Kagome! I thought I'd pay my woman a visit."

She sighed with disappointment. The last thing she currently needed was a love-sick wolf.

"Hello, Kouga," she started politely before he grabbed her hands.

Hearing a sharp intake of breath, she turned her head to catch a glimpse of Rin seeking refuge against her back. Her tiny fingers were already entwined within the folds of her long skirt, pulling the cloth taut over her legs. The child was obviously terribly frightened. Sending a look she hoped conveyed a plea for assistance to her friends, she tried to remove her hands from the wolf's.

"There's no need to feel shy, Kagome," he stated even as he gripped her tighter. "After all, you are my woman."

Now she really needed to get away from him. While in the past this was merely irritating, now it felt much worse. The tension that had already been present in the air was building, threatening to suffocate her as Rin's grip on her skirt tightened further.

Taking a slightly panicked look around, she saw that the hanyou, who was previously merely annoyed, was now downright apprehensive. As well, his eyes were not on the wolf, but some distant point in the woods. When he took a startled glance back over at her, their eyes met in understanding. She nodded with dawning comprehension.

"Kouga, ya stupid wolf, let go of Kagome!" he snarled and the ploy worked. The demon released her, turning to face his opponent. While he was occupied, Kagome wasted no time. Lifting the terrified child into her arms, she quietly backed away from the scene. Once she reached the woods, she ran.

Though the weight of the girl clinging to her slowed her progress somewhat, she still felt the incredible freedom she had so yearned while she was not allowed this simple joy. She could only hope her friends delayed the wolf long enough for her to escape. While she felt the slightest bit guilty, she figured it was about time the wolf got a clue.

She was torn rather brutally from her thoughts when a strong, warm arm lifted both her and the girl. Surprise made her close her eyes and upon re-opening, she discovered they were heaven bound and going higher and farther with each passing second. Up in the atmosphere the air was much cooler and she did her best to huddle closer to her savior despite the awkward position and burden. The warmth he radiated was most welcome and comforting. Still, when he finally approached the ground and landed, she was grateful.

"Sesshoumaru-sama!" the child cried with happiness as Kagome put her down. The ward approached her protector with a lightness that hadn't quite been present during their time apart. After bowing her appreciation that he had indeed returned for her, the girl skipped into the distance where the miko could just make out the waiting forms of the dragon and retainer.

"Thank you, Sesshoumaru-sama," the miko finally said with a respectful bow, unable to wipe the giddy smile from her face. Without a word, the blank taiyoukai grabbed her arm and pulled her away from his entourage. Though she was confused, she didn't say a word of protest.

"Why was Rin afraid of Kouga?" she asked instead as he led her into the woods.

"Wolves killed her," he responded coolly. She was surprised, more because she wasn't expecting an answer than the actual reply.

"Oh," she whispered and remained silent.

When he finally stopped, in a rather empty portion of the forest, she was confused yet again because she had never witnessed him in such a mood before. It seemed he was straining just beneath the surface with something great, but it was not the easily recognizable anger or annoyance he was prone to show. Whatever this new emotion was, it was strong, it was powerful…and she had no clue what it was.

The warm hand on her arm tightened as he pulled her closer and she wanted nothing more than to bask in the heat he provided at that moment. However, it seemed he had quite a different idea.

"Run."

With a push forward, he released her. Confusion held her still for a few seconds before she realized the earnestness in that order. She did not feel compelled to disobey and so, with a slight skip, took off through the trees.

He was following her. If she didn't know any better, she would assume he was chasing her out of fun. It surely must have appeared that way as she was still smiling joyously, occasionally laughing, as she continued to change direction in avoidance. It must look like one big game, she thought idly even as she swerved yet again.

However, it was over all too soon. A warm hand contacted with her shoulder and she was flung against a tree, none too gently, the breath rushing out of her as she struggled to understand what was going on. The taiyoukai approached her slowly, intently, his careful blankness falling into tatters even as some new indefinable something took over. She doubted if it was right to call it an emotion for it was just too powerful.

Despite her inability to catch her breath, she was not fond of being pinned to a tree, something that was looking more likely by the second with each step he approached. And so, with a breathlessly exuberant smile, she slipped around the tree and took off again, running as fast as her burning lungs would allow. Once again she was pushed off course and the game continued as such: run, push, tree, smile, run…

She was growing tired though. Two weeks was long enough to be considered out of practice and, as well, her ruthless encounters with the trees were doing nothing for her lung capacity. Still, she continued if only because she felt the burning need to do so. Somewhere in the cold air was a stream of electricity giving her the energy each time to continue the hunt, continue the game, no matter the consequences.

He was coming up on her side once more and she prepared herself for a push. However, the hand that connected with her arm pulled instead and she barely avoiding colliding with his armor as she came into contact with his warmth. Stunned was not the word she would have used but there was little time for thought when suddenly his lips were on hers.

A weaker woman may have fainted or perhaps grown weak in the knees, relying on her partner for support. For Kagome, neither of these was an option. He was the essence of Life itself, pure and raw, and she wanted more. The heat he exuded was a new substance she could not live without, a replacement for air. As long as he resumed what he was doing, she would never breathe again.

She didn't even know his hand had moved or that her feet had left the ground until, as she tried to pull away enough to get a better angle that did not involve being impaled by the spikes of his armor, his arm around her waist tightened to prevent her release. Dimly, in the back of her mind somewhere, she knew there would be bruises tomorrow, from his armor, his hand, his lips, but she didn't care. It was only proof of life.

Without warning she was flying, away from the blessed heat, away from him, and when she hit the cold ground, she was ready to weep for her loss. However, something in the way he was watching her made her immediately change from sorrow to excitement. Quickly regaining her feet, she took off again, running as fast as her burning lungs would allow her, the chill of the air all the more noticeable after the immense heat of the taiyoukai. She could feel his approach and, shutting her eyes to free her other senses, forced herself to go faster.

Sudden heat caused her to gasp, and, as his lips claimed hers again, she realized with idle thankfulness his armor was gone. Without thought, she clung to him, using the hand around her for leverage, jumping to wrap her legs around his waist. The skirt she had formerly thought pleasantly loose was now too cumbersome to allow the movement and it quickly gathered at her posterior. Still, it mattered little that her legs were exposed to the cold air; proximity to his warmth was all she could think of.

Vaguely she could hear her name being called but only truly recognized this when her beautiful companion pulled away, leaving her breathless and cold. She wanted to whimper but, without his life giving kiss, simply did not have the energy. She became limp when he swiftly lowered her back to the ground. With one last flash of heat upon her lips, he was gone.

She sighed. It was so strange. So strange that the world felt simultaneously dead and alive with his absence. Or perhaps it was dead without him but all the more beautiful simply because he had chosen to grace it with his presence? She weakly shook her head. It didn't matter. It was beautiful nonetheless.

"Kagome?"

Slowly her eyes refocused enough to recognize the being in front of her. The hanyou looked worn and worried.

"Yes, Inuyasha?" she whispered dreamily even as she wrapped her arms around her body, trying to retain any of the warmth he'd left behind.

"What's wrong with you? I've been yellin at you for 10 minutes."

Had it really been so long? Had he really been gone for so long? She shook her head again. It didn't matter. As long as she was still alive, as long as he was still alive, it didn't matter.

"I'm fine, Inuyasha."

"Fine? Are you stupid? You call that fine?"

He was poking the side of her face, and she dimly felt a prick of pain. Maybe when she hit a tree? She couldn't say and she didn't feel like theorizing. It didn't matter.

"I'm fine," she whispered again as she resolutely stood up.

"What the hell happened to you anyways? Not like you had to deal with that stinkin wolf…"

"Thank you, Inuyasha," she interrupted. Without another word, she took a deep breath, gazed once more at her surroundings, and proceeded to walk away. With each step she took, she felt elation rise until it bubbled into her throat where it erupted from her mouth as a thick and heavy laughter. As she varied between girlish giggles and full out chuckles, all the weariness from her activities slipped away.

The hanyou was speaking to her, or yelling perhaps, but she paid it no mind. She was in too good a mood to let him or anything spoil it. Naraku himself could show his head and she would smile with glee. She was alive, in this moment, in this life, and there was nothing better.

When the hanyou touched her shoulder, most likely in an attempt to bring her to her senses (how silly of him…she had never been more aware in her life), all the energy that had resurfaced sparked and she ran. She ran despite her protesting muscles, ran despite the rapidly forming bruises, ran despite the cool air biting into her skin and lungs. Closing her eyes, she ran with all she had left, with abandon and complete freedom.

When she thought of the event later, she could never remember how she stopped, how that run ended. She only remembered Inuyasha looking down on her as she felt overwhelmingly happy and exhausted.

"What the HELL is wrong with you?!" he had yelled.

"I'm alive," she had breathed. After that, all she remembered was his confusion. She pitied him, really. She knew exactly how he felt. Such a shame though that he didn't understand the truth. Comprehension meant absolutely nothing in the end. She would give up understanding in a heartbeat, live in perpetual confusion, if it meant she still lived.


	6. January & February

**Running Blind**  
_Just A Starving Writer_

**_Disclaimer:_** nope, not mine.  
**_Author's Rant: _**Still, WOW. All I can say is domo danku (if you know what movie that is from, I'll love you forever and the odds are in your favor). I'm glad you like my little tale.  
One thing: a few have questioned my declaration that I suffer from depression after reading my stories. Let me assure you that my therapist would only back me up on this. And if you still don't believe me, come over and see the wonderful cuts on my arm. Lack of computer access wasn't the only reason this chapter took so damned long.  
And now, screw all that shit and on to the story. I can only hope I don't screw this up. It'd be terrible to lose such wonderful support.  
Enjoy if you can.

**Part 6: January, February**

* * *

**January**

When she woke, it was snowing. Strange that. It hadn't been that cold when she'd fallen asleep. But then, it didn't change much. It would only make her runs all the more interesting.

"Kaede?"

She knew that voice. Shippou?

"When will she wake up?"

"I cannot tell ye that. I can only say Kagome will wake when she is ready."

"But…but it's been two days!"

"Do not worry child. This is quite unusual but there is no indication that she is anything but exhausted. When her body and spirit have recovered, she will join us again."

Two days? Had it really been that long? Trying to turn her head away from the open door, she found it difficult to move. How had this happened? She had only been running. True, she had been tired, but two complete days?

"Would you say she looks different, Kaede-sama?" the monk asked. Dimly she realized they must be speaking outside, to give her peace. She smiled weakly. It only made finding out the situation without contributing information that much easier.

"Aye, she does. She almost glows with life and energy. It is curious indeed, though it worries me greatly. Her power always was without control and she has no way to consciously release any she may build during the day. Ye have told me she had a need to run? Perhaps it was the only way for her to release the extra energy from a body that couldn't hold it."

"That would explain one weird thing."

"What, Inuyasha?"

"When I was chasing her, right before she fell and passed out…she was fast. Faster than any human I've ever known, and damn faster than she used to be. Almost as fast as me. I actually had to try to catch up to her."

"Wow…"

"What do you think did this?"

"I cannot tell ye that either. It is most unusual. Did ye speak with Lord Sesshoumaru, Inuyasha?"

"Yeah. Bastard didn't say much, but I don't think he knows much either. Something is going on between them but I don't think he's responsible for this. If he was, he would have said something. He's a bastard but…this isn't his style."

"What do you think happened then? I mean, we were only away from her for a little while. How could anything have happened in such a short amount of time?"

"I don't know, okay! Like I said, something is going on between them, but hell if I know what it is."

"What exactly did he say?"

"Well, when I finally found him, I said he must have had some effect on her. Bastard smirked."

"Then he must have done something."

"Yeah, but when I said she'd been unconscious since he'd seen her, smirk faded damn fast. He didn't know. He did something, yeah, but I don't think he had anything to do with this."

"Still, it's awful suspicious."

"Perhaps ye are correct, Sango, but Inuyasha is also right in this matter. I doubt Lord Sesshoumaru had any intentions for this to happen, but he may have contributed nonetheless. Whatever has happened to Kagome is connected to him. What all did she tell ye about her meetings with your half-brother?"

"Just that it started off as an accident and then she was pretty sure he waited for her, told her when to turn back after her run each night."

"Peculiar."

"Feh, stupid and dangerous is what it is. I told the idiot she needed to talk to Myoga. Too bad we didn't see him first."

"What do you mean dangerous?"

"I can't really explain it which is why I told her to talk to Myoga. But if he was there when she was supposed to go back, that means he was assuming responsibility for her. If she decided to ignore him and keep going…"

"He'd play catch?"

"Shippou!"

"No, the brat's right. He's a dog demon, what do you think he would do? If he really was there by choice, to watch her, he'd make sure to do it completely."

"What do you mean?"

"Hell if I know. All I know is that it's stupid to make someone that powerful follow their instincts just for the hell of it. If you don't want a vicious dog chasing you, you sure as hell don't want Sesshoumaru chasing you. I was hoping Myoga would explain it more."

"Do you think he might have done something to her without realizing it? While chasing her?"

"I don't know!"

She'd heard enough. It was useless for their conversation to continue. There was point in listening to them talking in circles. Basically, they were confused, worried about her, and weren't sure who to blame. Well, she'd solve that for them: no one was.

She sensed the questions they had and knew the moment they knew she was awake, she'd be subject to an intense interrogation. There was some information she was hesitant to provide them, specifically the events of her last meeting with the lord. Before she explained anything, she wanted to see the instigator himself and find out his thoughts on the topic.

Still, how to escape without drawing the attention of the hanyou? It was a dilemma to be sure, but with a rush of exhilaration she realized that Fate must once again be working in her favor: if her calculations were correct concerning how long she had been asleep, the moon should be black tonight and her persistent watcher would be near blind with his humanity. If she could wait til night fell, she should be able to get away without detection.

Three hours later, she tested that theory. She could only be grateful that her companions had left her relatively in peace while she lay in wait and for their absence while she made her escape. She did not question their location. It was enough that they were far enough away to allow her the privilege of one more night of unmolested freedom.

Silently she crept out of the village in the shadows of the huts until she finally reached the forest, taking the time to stretch her stiff and unused muscles before taking off at a slow jog. Much else wasn't currently possible, not after two continuous days of bed rest, but she was confident that she would be back in top form in no time.

As it was, the distance that she covered was nothing compared to what she had been capable of, but there was nothing she could do to change that. So instead of complaining, she stopped at the edge of the river, in the darkness of the night, brushing the fresh snow from a boulder before taking her seat. The evening, for all its low clouds, cold, faintly drifting snow, and silence, was decidedly beautiful.

She felt rather than saw his presence. There was no need to verify it with her other senses when she already knew without question he was there. However, she was surprised, enough even to jump slightly, when he sat behind her, the warmth of his back radiating into hers as his hair pooled on the rock in a mass quite near her hand. Tentatively she stretched her fingers through the locks, silently enjoying the silky texture without taking the unnecessary step of disturbing the strands unduly.

"They say I've changed," she said softly, the overhanging clouds and cushion of snow dampening her words to near whisper volume.

"So you have," he answered after a long period of silence.

"Yes, I have. But they make it seem like such a…strange thing. Such an unwelcome thing."

"They are protective of you."

"They are cowards," she said swiftly. Smiling, she imagined she could sense his agreement. "They see change in me and are frightened. But how could they think this is bad?"

"You are consorting with the enemy."

"You haven't been the enemy for over a year."

"Perhaps."

The deep quiet of the night filled in the void as they thought to themselves.

"They want to know what's happening…" she finally commented. "I don't know what to tell them."

He remained silent and her confusion broke into anger.

"How can I say anything when I don't understand either? I can't read your mind, you know. Was there a reason you decided to start watching me? Was there a reason you started chasing me? Was there a reason you kissed me? Did you even know what you were doing?"

Before she was able to continue her rant, a warm hand wrapped around her wrist and she was brutally pulled across the boulder and into the lap of her tormentor. As she prepared for a tirade concerning his apparent lack of manners, he cut off all her thoughts quite effectively by providing her the warmth of his lips. She met his passion thoughtlessly, only hoping to further enjoy the sensation when suddenly she was impacting with the snow strewn ground, coldness seeping into her body once more.

"No!" she screamed in righteous frustration. It was too much confusion, too much unknown. Her mind cried that he was using her while her heart demanded otherwise. She longed for the simpler days when they had merely played the game, back when it didn't matter what his motives were. Now civil war raged within herself as part of her demanded explanation and the other deemed it unnecessary.

"Tell me what the hell that was!" she demanded as the more logical side of her brain took over temporarily, blurring all the colors and reducing the overall beauty surrounding her into a white and gray mush as she felt the need to understand, if only a little.

"If you do not understand, this Sesshoumaru will not lower himself to explaining his actions."

And without further speech, the taiyoukai departed, leaving the miko near tears as her confusion took hold. An hour later, her companions, led by the fox child and neko youkai, found her, huddled where she had fallen in the snow, the still drifting flakes gathering in her hair in natural imitation of lace. To her credit, tears had never been shed. Instead, she merely sat in abject misery, trying to conciliate the two warring factions of her self.

Unfortunately, a fragile peace was only made several hours later that only allowed her to fall into a troubled sleep as her worried companions looked on.

* * *

**February**

She gave neither answers nor information when questioned regarding her relationship with the former enemy. While it could have appeared she was denying, it was more that she was just as clueless as them, if not moreso.

However, her lack of response was due to more than simply her inability to explain. The beauty of life that had been so wonderfully revealed during their encounters was once again hidden from her sight by the veil of self pity and despondence, only this time the cause was formerly her savior.

Whether the world was duller because of her despair or she despaired over the overcoming dullness, she would never distinguish. All that was certain was that the bright colors that had once been so awe inspiring were now either too bright or blurred into nothingness. The air she had once found life giving was now merely necessity. Though her body toiled onward, she saw herself as surviving more for the sake of surviving than living by any means. Living required effort, after all, and not everyone could do it satisfactorily.

There were times when the pain almost overcame her last defenses. Times when she saw on the periphery of her vision some fragment of the Life she used to love so much. However, whenever she turned with high hopes to meet it, the world had once again dulled and blurred, fading into a bleak nothingness that only made her fall further away from her ideal.

She continued her duties to the best of her abilities, of course, at least those she could do mindlessly. She continued to trudge along cold roads in the Feudal Era looking for pieces of a cursed jewel even as her heart was consistently breaking. But the joy that had once accompanied her on these treks was gone.

During the nights, which had grown colder without unpainful memories of his heat, she tried to run, tried to find that peace she had once been connected with. Unfortunately, it was not to be and all she achieved from the shortened jogs was snow in her shoes and scratches on her arms when tree branches failed to cooperate.

She wanted to cry, let the world see her despair, sob her pain to the comforting dark, but the tears wouldn't fall. As much as she needed to release her frustration, the tears wouldn't fall. And she was almost positive this inability to weep was swiftly killing her. The pressure would build up, the need would grow, until she would explode mentally, a distraction that could prove fatal, but not nearly as deadly if it was allowed to fester inside.

She could only wait in pain for that time to come. Until then, her soul would feed off itself as it struggled to remain alive despite her warring heart and mind. It was quite possible, she knew, to simply fade from this world as the despair expanded. It was only a matter of time.

* * *

The demon took them by surprise, coming upon them from the side while they had been walking quietly. Without hesitation, it took out its closest target, flinging the slayer across the road and into a tree. The snap as she hit as well as her slack body indicated she was down for the count. The monk quickly took up position as guard by her fallen form. 

The hanyou had already begun his attacks but he was tired, having just recovered from another attack two days previously, and not in top form. As well, the youkai seemed impervious to his sword, batting it off like a pest as it kept its eyes on the miko.

She was stunned, too overcome by despair and the new fright to move. While she had the best position and possibly the best weapon to conquer this foe, she was unable to act, instead standing with wide eyes as she awaited her end. Shutting her eyes softly, she let her shoulders droop in defeat.

Wind whipped across her body, throwing her hair haphazardly as a soft wetness splattered across her face. A moment of silence followed before she finally risked opening her eyes, only to come to an unexpected conclusion.

She was not injured. In fact, she had not been touched. Instead, it was the demon's blood that had sprayed her, the demon's dead body hitting the ground in front of her that had created the wind. Ahead of her the hanyou panted softly as he sheathed his mighty sword. The look of utter disappointment he held in his eyes struck her straight to the core more than any physical blow ever could. As she beheld his extreme displeasure regarding her actions, she suddenly realized what she had done.

She had forgotten. How had it been so easy to forget?

With a sharp intake of air, surely sucking in snowflakes to their certain doom, she dropped the bow from her slack hand and ran, shedding her backpack as she preogressed.

The farther she ran, the faster the snow fell. Dimly she knew that they were not following her, which was for the best. It would do no good to have any witnesses for this last act of desperate resolution. It would benefit no one for there to be a spectator to her painful rebirth.

The wind whipped her mercilessly as she picked up her step, speeding through the woods with all the energy that had abandoned her during the two weeks of nothingness. The chilling air, the relentless wind, the thickening snow, the stark simplicity of the surrounding colors, all fed her as she struggled onward to reach a destination she knew not of, spurred only by the need to find a place of sanctuary.

Though it was late in the season, the year had been unusually cold and here in the Northern provinces the snow still fell with a vengeance, gathering in the low areas into hidden pools. It was into one of these depressions that Kagome finally fell as she sped over the frozen land. Her legs sank into the snow up to her knees and she was forcefully brought to a stop, falling into the white blanket as her momentum continued her trek regardless of the change of direction. Luckily the untouched snow was still rather light and absorbed the brunt of her fall without injuring her unduly.

For a moment, she could only lay there frantically gulping the biting air as the snow snuck under the hem of her skirt and into her jacket at every opportune location. Then, with one deep breath, she sobbed and finally the tears that she had so long been denied returned with a fury. She wept for the world around her, for her inability to appreciate Life, for her silly love for a being that was deserving but ungracious. She wept for the strange circumstances she found herself in and the continued threat on her life. She cried for her duties and her inability to deny them. But mostly she wept for herself and the confusion that had so thoughtlessly sundered her from her beautiful world.

Slowly her sorrow transformed into anger as she began to place blame on the demon she had so foolishly accepted into her heart. It was his fault, she decided. He was the one who chose to watch her and he was most definitely the one who had initiated the more physical relationship.

"YOU BASTARD!" she cried into the silent woods. "Is it so WRONG to NOT UNDERSTAND?! Is it such a CRIME?"

And suddenly she was stricken by a feeling that yes, it was such a crime. Lack of comprehension was a crime if she allowed it to overcome her own sensibilities. When she began to let her confusion take hold, she had wronged herself and him with the ensuing despair. Her tears renewed in frustrated, sorrowful joy. With tear stained eyes, she looked back to the world and once again it had taken on the bright colors of before, once again it shown with natural beauty that she had previously not allowed herself to see.

"I'm such a fool," she whispered reverently as she struggled to regain her feet. Standing knee deep in the snow, she turned her head to face the clouds through the naked trees. Closing her eyes, she let her other senses enjoy the feel of the snowflakes hitting her cheeks as a grin played across her countenance.

Would it be so hard, she argued quietly, to remain true to her self while patiently loving the taiyoukai? After the hanyou, she knew better than to assume that a relationship or feelings existed until there was an open declaration, something she was sure would not happen for quite some time with the lord. Could she wait that long? Or would her sight once again suffer as his lack of acceptance of her love stole the beauty from her world? Or could there in fact exist a way to have both him and Life?

She smiled wryly as she turned her face down again. Did it really matter? It was simply the way it would have to be. The taiyoukai would not disclose his emotions concerning her in the immediate future and so she would simply have to learn to deal with it. There was no other way. Not to mention, as long as she yet lived, as long as he yet lived, was there any reason to let her world fade? She could love him quietly from afar if she had to.

She sighed and slowly opened her eyes, happy that it had stayed bright during her blindness. It was best not to dwell on what she couldn't control. Anyways, she had time to wait for him to recognize the truth of her emotions. In the meantime, she could only live to the best of her ability.

With a refreshed smile, she took the first few steps back toward her friends when suddenly that world she loved so spun viciously and she became reacquainted with the ground. All the sad and happy energy that had been sustaining her had vanished leaving her only a tired mass of grinning miko. She crawled a few more meters before exhaustion once again took hold. The run, in combination with the great emotional release, had done great disservice to her stamina and immediate rest was demanded. Curling into a ball the best she could, she closed her eyes with a soft smile.

She only woke once when warmth surrounded her and, opening sluggish eyes, she met the veiled golden gaze of the one she loved. In her sleep addled mind she realized he was somehow lifting her into his only arm. As he began to walk with his new burden, she huddled closer to his warmth and mumbled her apologies.

"Please forgive me, Sesshoumaru-sama," she began as sleep began reclaiming her mind. "I forgot. I'm sorry." Sinking into his comforting presence, she allowed sleep to overtake her once more.

* * *


	7. February & March

**Running Blind**  
_Just A Starving Writer_

**_Disclaimer:_** nope, not mine.  
**_Author's Rant:_** Yeah, I won't bore you with my reasons for the tardiness.  
Thanks to all the wonderful reviewers and readers. I mean **WOW**. Much appreciated. Can only hope I didn't screw this chapter up.  
Enjoy if you can.  
_(Psst! Find this story curiously lacking in action? Next chapter Naraku comes in, so THERE!)_

**Part 7: February, March **

**February**

She had woken to the distinctive feeling of several eyes watching her. Sure enough, her senses had been correct as she was currently the subject of study for every shard hunter.

"What?" she asked drowsily.

"Are you okay?" the fox questioned hesitantly, his eyes providing evidence of his worry.

At his statement, she could only smile. She had never felt better.

"Yeah, Shippou. I'm okay." While it was obvious through the instant relaxation all present showed that they were relieved, she could tell there was more to be said.

"Kagome-sama, are you ready to explain?"

She met the monk's gaze and nodded with joyful resignation. Some details…she wasn't quite ready to reveal, but she recognized the need to tell them something more than she had. But first, she had a question of her own.

"How did I get here?"

The hanyou's loud sigh brought her attention back to him.

"Inuyasha?" she queried.

"Sesshoumaru. We were looking for you in the forest when we saw him. He stopped and put something down. When we approached, he was gone and you were asleep, propped up against a tree."

She nodded as a grin played across her features. Still, she didn't miss the half surprise, half acknowledgement of her friends at her reaction. Apparently, it was now time to give them the information they needed to put together the pieces of a rather difficult puzzle. She couldn't blame them for their confusion as she was just as clueless and she knew more than they did.

However, just as she opened her mouth to begin the odd story, a slap resounded. All eyes turned to the monk but he was not the victim. Instead the slayer had attacked herself, or rather the flea that had connected itself to her cheek.

"Myoga?"

"Lord Inuyasha! Kagome-sama! I came to speak with you!"

"Why'd you come, ya coward? I can't believe you'd come out of hiding so easily," the hanyou declared even as he plucked the flea from the slayer's hand.

"I was out gathering information…" The hanyou snorted his disbelief. "…When I came across a rather delicious young human girl. However, she quickly became aware of my presence and I was just about to take off when I was almost burned alive by a blast from that annoying demon that trails your brother. He began spouting off how his master needed no more interference from 'members of the stupid half-breed's group'. I immediately knew something was going on and listened as the child defended Kagome-sama. It was rather intriguing. I simply had to find out more so I immediately sought you. Kagome-sama, have you anything to do with Lord Sesshoumaru?"

Once again, all eyes turned toward the miko and once again she sighed in resignation.

"You're just in time, Myoga. I was just about to explain to everyone. Maybe everyone should sit down."

No one moved and she sighed again. As her mind went back to the beginning, she began her tale of accidental meetings in the dead of night, of sharing the beautiful world with a beautiful lord, of silent hellos and quiet philosophical talks. She spoke of the progression of the meetings to a nightly affair and the watchful presence that told her when to turn back. With hesitation, she continued her explanation into the odd game of chase. However, there she stopped, neglecting to provide further details. Unfortunately for her, lying was not her forte and the others suspected more.

"Is that all, Kagome-sama?" the monk queried. She could only uncomfortably shift in her spot.

"What aren't you telling us, Kagome?" the hanyou accused and she could not meet his eyes.

The flea jumped from his position on the hanyou's shoulder to the miko and questioned quite effectively.

"Has anything of a more intimate nature occurred, Kagome-sama?"

While she remained quiet, her blush was more telling than words. A collective breath was taken.

"Hmm…I see…Quite interesting," the flea mumbled before turning his attention back to the miko. "And has he exhibited any strange behavior before or after the… affection?"

Immediately the flea was locked in her gaze. Her thoughts were scrambled as she tried to determine how he could possibly know. The old youkai only nodded in understanding.

"What the hell are you talking about?" the hanyou asked with confused irritation.

Without a word, Kagome pushed back her sleeve to reveal a particularly long scar.

"But…" the slayer began with confused eyes. "Wasn't that from that time we found you in the woods after Kouga? Are you saying Sesshoumaru did that?"

The miko nodded solemnly without meeting the eyes of anyone present.

"But Kagome-chan! You were covered in bruises! I've looked better after a run-in with Naraku. How could he do that to you if…" the slayer trailed off.

"He was testing her, of course," the flea stated flatly. "It's a common practice among demons. Many high level youkai see any display of emotion as a weakness for the one who initiates it. If Sesshoumaru-sama believed he was being weak, he would reassert his position, probably through a physical display of strength or by trying to force a show of weakness from Kagome-sama."

"He was testing her for weakness?"

"Yes, of course. It simply wouldn't do for someone as powerful as Sesshoumaru-sama to allow someone unworthy to see him in any position of weakness. He was testing to see if she was truly deserving of his affections by attempting to force her into her own display of weakness. How did the injuries occur, Kagome-sama?"

She sighed and her blush spread as she shyly began the part of her story she would have rather neglected.

"He told me to run so I did. He was chasing me but I didn't think much of it til he pushed me into a tree. I didn't understand why but I knew I had to keep going. So I ran again and he pushed again and it just kept going like that until instead of pushing he pulled…"

"And?" the hanyou questioned when her pause extended too long for his liking.

"And when he was done, he pushed me away again. I ran and he caught me again. Then we heard you approaching so he went away."

"Was there any more?"

"A few days later, he kinda did it again. I was asking him to explain and he…then pushed me away, saying he wouldn't lower himself to explaining."

"And since then?"

"I hadn't seen him after that until yesterday afternoon when I finished crying I the woods."

"What happened in the woods, Kagome?" the fox asked. "You just sort of snapped when Inuyasha killed that demon in front of you…I was worried."

"I guess I did snap, Shippou. But it was for the best really. I ran because I needed to feel alive again. When he threw me away the last time, I was terribly confused and for awhile I let it take over. Yesterday, after my run, I cried and realized how silly it was to let something as unimportant as not understanding tear apart my world. I had finally come out of my sulking when my body gave out. The last thing I remember is him carrying me."

"What the hell do you mean understanding isn't important? How can you possibly believe that shit? You mean to tell me that it doesn't bother you that Sesshoumaru has a thing for you? Not only that, but he happens to like showing his 'affection' by throwing you into trees? What the hell is wrong with you?" the hanyou ranted. The miko took it with a wry grin, ignoring the last question.

"Yes, Inuyasha. That's exactly what I'm saying."

"But Kagome-chan…"

"But nothing Sango-chan. I freely admit that I know nothing of his mind or heart. But it doesn't matter to me. I know my own heart. Can't you understand that? Life is most beautiful to me when he is in it. If he has issues with my being worthy of his attention, they will be solved in time. For now, it's enough that I have his attention."

Kagome's odd logic made everyone pause in thought as they sought full interpretation. Searching their expressions, she could see that Miroku understood but was hesitant to agree. Sango's teary eyes told her of a sympathetic friend who feared for the safety of her heart. Shippou's hand reached for her own and with a tug, she knew he was giving her his support. The flea on her shoulder seemed quite surprised that she was taking everything so well. However, she immediately knew the hanyou was going to be an issue.

"But Kagome…" Inuyasha began. "Sesshoumaru…He's tried to kill you…How?...Why?"

Disconnecting herself from the fox, she stood and took steady but light steps to her friend. With a soft hand on his cheek, she demanded his full attention. His confused eyes met her knowing gaze.

"There doesn't have to be a why, Inuyasha. But maybe I can explain it more. Has there ever been a time, Inuyasha, when you were completely at peace with yourself and the world around you?"

He could only half nod.

"That's how I feel, knowing he's out there."

His eyes glazed over with some indefinable something and she released him, carefully stepping backward before she finally turned away.

However, she didn't stop at the edge of the camp and just as she had expected, no one stopped her from continuing into the woods. Softly treading further between the trees, she almost failed to hear the question finally asked back at the campsite by a rather intuitive little fox demon.

"But…what if Sesshoumaru never decides if she's worthy?"

A tear streamed relentlessly down her cheek but she flung it away as she drew in a deep breath of the cold, clean air. It was a question she couldn't answer…and so it was one she would simply fail to ask herself.

**>....................... **

**March**

The nightly meetings picked up once more, but she did not push her luck. While it had now become rather obvious that she had his attention, she was not going to force him into any declaration, most likely because she knew that was rather impossible. Still, though she knew her heart was no longer hers, she felt safe.

There were times, she allowed, times when she began to doubt his motives. Times when she feared his true intentions in procuring her safety. However, those times were short lived. She only needed to look around, once again sink into the blissfulness of nature to remember that in the long run, it mattered little. True, a real relationship could not begin between them until he came to terms with his feelings, but that day would one day come. Until then, it was enough that he was watching her.

And so every day she trekked further in search of the last remaining jewel shards and every night she ran farther in search of peace. She had quickly regained her previous level and then surpassed it, traveling longer distances each night until she reached the waiting taiyoukai. Even this was a test, she figured, to see if she could continually improve her skill, and if so, she was passing it as of yet.

No matter the occurrences of the day, at night she was free to run with unrestrained passion. Had anyone informed her that there were times when her very skin seemed to be perspiring light, she would have smiled and nodded. She knew very well that whatever innate power she possessed was using her nightly commune with nature to express its presence. While she might have failed to understand the significance, she did appreciate the lightness it gave to her steps and the charged feeling she had after each escape. There was no question that she was becoming stronger under the lord's quiet guidance and her own need to see the beautiful world. Her muscles protested very little daily, and every arrow she discharged had more power than the one before.

However, she knew her friends still questioned whether her growing strength would ever be enough to sate the powerful taiyoukai. She was human, with all that entailed, and for a formerly human-loathing being such as the lord, it would take much to redeem herself in his eyes. Just the fact that she had gained his notice was proof that he considered her one of the betters of her species, but there was still a great distance to bridge between tolerable human and powerful being.

**>....................... **

He was staring at her as she gathered water in her cupped hands. Staring at her with his carefully blank expression, though she was almost certain that had she looked, there would have been something flickering deep within his eyes betraying his countenance.

"My mother once told me that there were three different kinds of people in the world," she said as she brought the water to her lips. She paused to have a draught of the cold water. "Those who watched, those who acted, and those who did both." Turning slightly, she met his steady gaze before continuing. "You do both rather well, to such great extremes. But I do have to wonder what it is you are looking for."

He blinked and she grinned.

"Are you watching for my faults?"

His eyes narrowed slightly and she openly smiled.

"I assure you, there are plenty. But of course, you know that. Then the real question is, which one are you watching for?"

His eyes narrowed further and she laughed.

"Yes, which fault are you watching for and how long before you act again?"

With one final increment of eye narrowing, he disappeared with his speed, only to reappear directly behind her. However she had expected it and had moved according, placing herself mere centimeters out of the way of what he had apparently anticipated to be a rather easy push into the water. The victorious smile she sported didn't last long when, with a challenging smirk, he began a more earnest assault and she was hard pressed to keep from being tossed into the small pool or pinned to a tree.

Rather quickly her clothing was in disarray from rolling in a sad attempt to avoid him. Still, she was rather impressed that she was doing so well. Sure, he was being extraordinarily lenient, but it was something. No doubt it was another test under the guise of play. She expected nothing less from him. However, that knowledge did little to dissuade her from continuing. Besides, the twigs caught in her hair were bound to be rather fetching.

Of course, as is the way of things, she had no sooner thought of her improvement in dodging when he decided to up the stakes. Flinging her ruthlessly into the air, she barely had time to draw a quick breath before landing into the pond, somewhere she doubted he was all that enthused to follow her into. Even as she did the best job of removing her hair from her face, a rather difficult task considering the chill still in the air as well as the rather icy temperature of the water, a rather sneaky idea occurred to her. With all the dignity she could muster, she climbed out of the pond and approached him slowly.

It was childish, but it could also be seen as entirely alluring, she decided even as, without the slightest bit of warning, she jumped, fully intent on formally introducing him to the excess water in her clothing. However, he was, as usual, one step ahead. Luckily enough for her, he didn't seem to mind the water, only her method. Easily wrestling control from her unaccustomed hands, he caught her mid air and flung her into a tree. Before she had the chance to slide down to the unwelcoming ground, he took the liberty of stopping her fall with a rather insistent hand on her neck.

Kagome wasn't quite sure when the tree ceased to be important. As soon as he provided her that most sought warmth once again, she had clung to him, leaving the foliage in favor of his own strength. However, it was over all too soon as she was flung to the forest floor to resume the game. At least she was getting better at landing. She'd once heard that in gymnastics the first thing one learnt was how to fall. After her most recent experiences, she could only applaud that most ingenious training.

Still, as much as she enjoyed the game, she was still but human, no matter how he might try to justify it. There were only so many times she could be thrown, so many times she could run before exhaustion caught up to her and in this instance, it came all too soon. After a particularly robust display of affection, she found herself in a pile on the ground without the ability to get up. The spirit was willing but the body was very visibly throwing in the towel. The damage alone was enough to make her wince in expectation of pain in the morning. If she could even get the energy to get back to camp by morning, that is. Presently the ground was very cozy.

In her hazy and yet all too clear mind, she almost failed to notice the taiyoukai approaching her again, looking down on her as he so often did. Meeting his eyes, she was slightly surprised to find yet another new indefinable something trapped beneath the careful stare. Her brow creased in confusion.

"You are glowing."

His simple statement was enough to give her a moment of dumbfounded pause before she wearily lifted a hand. Indeed, her skin was giving off a soft luminance that made the otherwise unassuming appendage look otherworldly. Still, as odd as this was, it was nothing new to the miko.

"Yeah, I've been doing that lately." She paused thoughtfully as she twisted the hand weakly in front of her slack face before dropping it to the ground. "I think it's pretty."

He said nothing but walked away, presumably to retrieve the discarded armor. A few minutes later he returned and silently knelt to gather her still glowing body into his only arm. She had originally assumed it would be an awkward position but strangely enough it wasn't if one worked the mechanics correctly, which of course he did.

He carried her to the outskirts of the camp in silence.

**>....................... **

_(line feature was kinda screwed up when I posted, so I made do.)_


	8. April

**Running Blind**  
_Just A Starving Writer_

**_Disclaimer:_** nope, not mine.  
**_Author's Plea: _**I know how useless excuses are, so I'll offer none, only my infinite apologies. I offer you this chapter as a peace offering.  
This story is winding down, which is one reason why this chapter was difficult to write. In fact, I still don't like it but decided that since I never like anything I write, there was no difference. Maybe. Perhaps...I don't know. Regardless, only a few more chapters...maybe 2...maybe 3...depends on detail. I'll try to have them up soon, but no promises.  
On a happy, completely objective note, this chapter dedicated to the band Straylight Run, whose song Existentialism On Prom Night really made my day.

Thank you for your continued support. Enjoy if you can.

**Part 8: April **

**April**

They had come a long way, she mused silently. Certainly it was not the lengthy exclamations of love she had dreamed of as a child, but it was something more tangible and welcome. However, one thing was amiss: no exclamation or even nonchalant statement had been uttered by him as a reason for his behavior. While she had resigned herself to a lover that would never speak openly of his affections, she was dead set against any more serious relationship until he could at least admit his feelings to himself.

And the tests were getting quite old as well. In the beginning it had been quite exhilarating to run from him only to be caught, ravished, and released. The pain had only made the pleasure that much more unique, but now, with a body sore from continuous meetings with rather stiff trees, she was beginning to regret accepting this strange ritual of his. It may be making her stronger, but it was also adding to the already stupendous amount of scars that littered her body.

There had to be a way, she reasoned, for him to accept her as she was and cease the tests. There had to be a way for her to prove her worth to him, once and for all. But as adamant as she was that this was possible, a seed of doubt had been planted by the words of the fox. What if he never decided she was worthy? Could she live a life of constant questioning?

She would always shake the disturbing thoughts from her mind. As long as she questioned herself, she justified his testing. After all, if she couldn't live a happy enough life without him, then she truly wasn't strong enough for him. It was all rather circular, she allowed, and the only way to stay in control was to constantly remind herself of the beauty everywhere. It was either constant happiness or deepening depression and she gladly chose happiness, though sometimes there didn't seem to be much of a choice, or rather the ability to find that happiness. But Kagome always did, scoured the recesses of her soul whenever sadness threatened to overtake her just to find some scrap of happiness to cling onto, and as time progressed, it became easier and easier to stay bright.

Still, to say doubt didn't linger would be to lie foolishly. As long as the tests continued, as long as the lord felt the need to make her prove her worth, she would be plagued by the pain of unrequited love. But at least, she reckoned, she already knew something about that.

* * *

Smiling, Kagome waited patiently for the world to stop spinning from her physical exhaustion. The air, which still retained a slight chill, especially after a run, was every bit as burning as it was soothing on her worn lungs. 

"Are you ever going to grow weary of this?" she asked as she consciously began to control her breathing and slow her heart. Her companion remained silent, refusing to meet her partially amused eyes. "It's not that I don't like running, because I do. I love it…but I know you are testing me."

With reflexes she could never hope to hone, the lord turned his head to heavily stare at her crumpled form. However fierce his eyes, his face still refused to betray his thoughts. She sighed in long suffering.

"I wonder if I'll ever pass this test of yours," she stated quietly as she averted her gaze. A heavy silence fell between them before she once again sighed, this time in release of very palpable tension.

"Oh well. I'll be patient if you will."

Without another word, she regained her feet and, after a quick stretch, began jogging back toward her friends. When she chanced a look back, she found the taiyoukai standing where she'd left him, unreadable features surrounding startling eyes that followed her progress. She smiled. Perhaps there was hope for him after all.

* * *

The air was charged when the group of shard hunters called a halt for the night. As befitting the land, Kagome could hardly concentrate long enough to help set up the camp before her feet took her into the woods at a steadily faster jog. Though she clearly heard the hanyou cursing her apparent stupidity, she paid it no heed. He knew well that no harm would befall her under his brother's watch, as strange an idea as that was. 

Unfortunately, in her rush to be free of the constraints of normal existence, she neglected to listen to the still wood around her and by the time the first sounds of battle reached her ears, she was far enough from the shard hunters that she would be of little use by the time she returned to them. Still, it was enough to make her pause and the sudden cease of activity immediately made her aware of the unnatural silence of the woods. Offhand she noticed she was glowing again, but dismissed it as unimportant as she turned around and sprinted in the direction of her friends.

She had gone less than 100 yards before she was swept off her feet by the force of a powerful blow. Slamming into a tree, she grimaced as new injuries joined the old. She would never grow accustomed to such treatment, but at least she knew what to expect. Looking up, she was half surprised that instead of her usual 'sparring' partner, her enemy had instead made an appearance, joined by what could only be his new creation.

While it appeared Naraku was fully prepared to simply sit back and watch her fight with his minion, said minion was already in action, coming at her once again with his large weapon, what almost looked to be a cross between a sword and a club. Whatever it was, he clearly intended to use it squish her to a bloody pulp. Luckily, she was well trained in the fine art of avoidance and so was well out of the way by the time the club decimated the tree she had been thrown against.

Kagome did her best to dodge the heavy blows even as she thoroughly cursed herself for leaving her bow back at camp. Of course, she had been too reliant upon her lordly watcher to provide her safety and that thought only made her doubts that she was unworthy multiply.

"I'm surprised, miko," the evil hanyou said from the tree he was nonchalantly leaning against. He had forgone the traditional baboon cover and though she could sense part of the jewel, she was almost certain he was not the real Naraku. Rather, from what she sensed, the puppet was part of him, provided some of the real hanyou's powers so that the true Naraku could really feel her demise. How she knew this, she did not question. After all, it was silly to do such a thing while she was in battle and stranger things had happened than intuitively understanding the ploy of her enemy.

"Surprised?" she questioned as she escaped another swing of the massive weapon.

"Yes, surprised. Surprised that you've lasted this long. Of course, Kikyou would have already killed this little toy and been done with it, but you've lasted longer than I expected for a mere reincarnation."

She smiled wryly. If he wanted to make her feel bad enough to make a mistake, he was going to have to try harder than that. Knowing that she would be tired out before the brute of a demon, she decided it was time to take the offensive. During her next escape she clutched a rather large splinter from a decimated tree. It was only about the size of a chair leg but the end was sufficiently pointed. Laced with her miko powers, it was infinitely better than nothing and might actually work.

She barely escaped the next blow of the club but it worked in her favor as she rolled forward, toward the trollish youkai. As the minion was still dislodging his weapon from the tangle of tree limbs on the ground, it was temporarily susceptible and she used that time wisely. Concentrating on the splinter clenched in her hand, she was relieved when it instantly lit up with pink light even as she plunged it into the beast's foot.

The effect was instantaneous: crying with outraged pain, the youkai dropped his weapon in favor of reaching for her instead. Using strength she was unaware she had, she yanked her would-be dagger from its bloody place and, gripping it with two hands, thrust it up into the minion's stomach. Howling as purity flooded its body, the youkai dissolved into ashes which lazily drifted to cover Kagome giving her an even more otherworldly look. There she stood, glowing slightly, grasping a rough stake of wood with shaking hands as ash floated over her, coating her tangled black hair in a snowy veil.

However, her moment of success was short lived. Before she was even fully aware that she had managed to somehow defeat her foe, an intense pain in her own stomach caused her to look down in alarm. A bloodied brown tentacle was poking from her blouse and she dimly realized it was her own blood that was swiftly dying her white shirt red.

Any fear she may have had was leaving her, just as her life was. As she grew more and more disconnected, she felt her body being pulled toward the evil hanyou who looked at her smugly.

"I believe the jewel is mine now, reincarnation," he stated smoothly even as a hand reached toward the jar at her neck.

It would be so easy to give in to the lulling calmness that was steadily blacking out her peripheral vision. It would be so easy to fall asleep, she thought. But there was something wrong, she knew. He couldn't have the shards. He just couldn't. She would die here, yes, but not before she kept the shards safe.

"It was never yours," she mumbled awkwardly. "It will never be yours."

"Humans are really such disgustingly fragile things," he said with a smirk as he yanked on the jar and the necklace snapped.

Concentrating with all she had left, she felt her powers spring eagerly into being and once more inhabit the stick still clutched in her hand.

"So are power hungry youkai," she said with a weak smile before throwing her self and the splinter toward the hanyou. As she felt the glowing wood bite into his flesh she was able to find thus untapped reserves of strength and focus on purifying the puppet. With one last surprised grunt, Naraku, or at least this Naraku, dissolved and yet still her powers flowed from her seeking an outlet.

Before her body could give out, she extended her free hand, bloodied and glowing with a burning brightness, toward the jewel shards, both hers and the tainted ones that had been in the puppet's possession. Smiling softly as they were all easily purified, she finally let the darkness overtake her.

* * *

Sudden awareness shot into her. Light, startling beautiful light, filled her being. Every fibre seemed alight with feeling, which was odd, considering that she remembered that she should rightfully be dead and thus have neither fibres nor feelings. 

Nevertheless, the feeling filled her, demanding her entire attention and before she knew what was happening, she was gasping for breath, eyes frantically searching her surroundings for reasons as to why she yet lived.

He was a God. Standing there in his unblemished white, his hair and clothing fluttering in an invisible breeze, nonchalantly returning his heirloom sword to its place at his hip, he resembled nothing less than a deity. And with a shot of comprehension, she knew exactly what he had done.

She wanted to thank him. She wanted to grab him and reassure herself that she was still capable of such lively actions. She wanted to kiss him and bask in the warmth that was in direct opposition to the cold nothingness she had just returned from. But there was something in the blankness of his features that stilled her. He looked so entirely distant, so vastly untouchable at that moment, so very much like the deity he resembled.

Slowly, he kneeled beside her and easily tugged the splinter that had served her so well from her hand. His unfathomable eyes examined it carefully, seeming to understand every cut it had inflicted before he stabbed it into the ground above her head. Dropping his hand, he picked up a piece of her hair it had severed and slowly brought it to his eyes for study.

She could only watch in confused awe as he then tucked it into his sash, rose, and began to walk away. He stopped for a second, and turning slightly, flicked something toward her. Even without looking down, she knew the object that had landed in her open palm was a chunk of the Shikon jewel.

Without a word, he turned back and resumed walking. Her eyes followed him until he disappeared into the dark woods before she let the wave of exhaustion she had been holding at bay wash over her and take her to a much more welcoming darkness.

* * *

"Kagome?" 

The voice was bodiless and drifted across her mind.

"Kagome, are you okay?"

Why were they so worried? Of course she was okay.

"Kagome, please wake up."

The plea registered to her dimly and her natural tendency to calm and placate spurred her to consciousness.

"Shippou?" she questioned wearily.

The fox immediately jumped onto her, fully capable of hugging her back into unconsciousness. Weakly protesting his vigor, she was thankful when Sango lifted him away from her neck.

"How do you feel, Kagome-chan?" the slayer questioned softly as she helped the miko into a sitting position.

"Exhausted but otherwise fine. What about you?"

"That's the strange part. We weren't doing all that well against Naraku. He had a couple of new minions that were keeping us busy, not to mention with all the Saimyoshou, Miroku was unable to use his Wind Tunnel. We'd finally managed to take down two of the three and Inuyasha sent a Wind Scar toward Naraku when this pink light came out of nowhere and Naraku began screaming. When the Wind Scar finally hit him, he pretty much exploded into nothingness."

Kagome's eyes widened with that bit of information.

"After we finished off the last youkai," Sango continued, "we went to look at Naraku's remains and we found a segment of the jewel. We immediately realized you were probably in danger and went off to find you. You were….you were lying in a puddle of blood, so pale, covered in blood and dirt. We thought you were dead, Kagome. We were so sure…But Miroku said something and went up to you, and you were alive! We didn't know what had happened, only that a battle had been fought and you had 2 large new pieces of the jewel…We took you away and made a new camp. You've been asleep for a day."

"Oh my…" the miko could only murmur.

"What happened, Kagome?"

"Naraku was there. He distracted me with a youkai and when I killed it, he struck me. I don't know how, but I killed him too before I died."

"...died!"

"I think…I mean, I don't really know how it's supposed to feel like but I'm almost positive that I died. Then there was this light and I woke up and Sesshoumaru was there."

"Tenseiga?" the monk asked softly from the side while the slayer's already wide eyes grew wider.

"I think so, yeah. He gave me part of the jewel and left…"

"How strange…"

"Yeah…"

"I suppose that means Sesshoumaru-sama also killed a Naraku," the monk hypothesized.

"Yeah, sounds about right. Also would explain why he didn't come save me during my battle when he had to have been close." The miko paused in thought. "Did you feel like these puppets were different?"

"Yes, actually, I did," Miroku answered. "I am almost willing to believe that each of the Narakus we faced was a segment of the complete Naraku. Considering the large part of the jewel we have now, it's possible that by defeating each part of him, we have actually defeated Naraku."

"Do you really think so?"

"It's possible, but I don't know how we can be sure."

Kagome said nothing. After all, the monk had a point. How could they know for certain that the parts of Naraku they had vanquished were all of him and not just more puppets? It was quite the question, but not one they could presently answer.

"I suppose the only jewel shards left are Kouga's and Kohaku's. Should we just see about getting those for now?" she questioned softly.

"That seems to be the best course of action," the monk agreed.

"Yeah, we finally get to put that mangy wolf in his place," Inuyasha stated from the safety of his tree, finally entering into the conversation.

She only smiled softly. In an odd way, everything had just become simultaneously simpler and more complicated. She sighed. Everything would work out eventually. For now she was too tired to think about it. Settling back down into her sleeping bag, she promptly fell back asleep.

* * *


	9. May & June

**Running Blind**  
_Just A Starving Writer_

**_Disclaimer:_** nope, not mine.  
**_Author's Plea:_** Please forgive me. For everything.  
Major lack of editing in the name of sanity and time. If I play with this chapter anymore than I have, I'll have to kill it. Of course, that probably means it'll end up like last time.  
For those of you who may be curious, I left out a very important thing in 8 because I had an idea I wanted to try out here in 9. Unfortunately, I didn't fully think it out before posting 8 and was left with something of a dilemma. I hope I have solved it. It was always my original plan to include Miroku's issues here in such a way, but I should have addressed it better. When I am finished with the story, I'll prolly go back and edit that. For now, this is what I have.  
Now, enough of that! Here's the chapter!  
As always, enjoy if you can.

**Part 9: May, June **

**May**

The silence was complete. It seemed as if the entire world had stopped breathing in this tense moment.

"Prove it," the hanyou finally stated with authority, keeping his stance rigid and prepared.

The wind sorceress, 10 meters away and already fan-free, merely nodded and removed a bottle from her sleeve. It was quite miraculous that the object could fit in her sleeve, but they weren't currently focused on that oddment. Instead, their entire attention was on the jar itself, or rather its contents.

"Is that…?" the monk finally questioned.

"His heart. Naraku's heart. Kept alive by a mere sliver of the Shikon Jewel."

"So, that's all that is left of him?"

"Yes. All that I know about. Regardless, he cannot live without it so if there are any more copies, they will die when you kill this."

The shard hunters shared a tense and speculative glance. It could very well be a trap, but it was so incredibly tempting to believe her. Kagura looked different than they had ever seen her. Though her nervousness could easily been that of maliciousness, the worry and overall hope mixed in were heartening.

"Why did you bring it to us, Kagura?" Kagome questioned softly. The youkai's keen ears still picked it up and she smiled wryly.

"I would like to live. In exchange for leaving me to my peace, I bring you proof of my former master's demise."

It was so honest and heart-wrenching that Kagome nodded her approval without even consulting with her group. Approaching the sorceress, she extended her hand, ignoring the hanyou's protests, and accepted the jar. A brief look at the contents was enough to make her stomach groan as the red heart seemed to radiate an aura of blackness even as it steadily pulsed.

When she looked back on the moment, Kagome knew she had not acted consciously. Instead, being in the close proximity of so much evil prompted her miko powers to action. Despite the drain that still affected her from the powerful display she made before dying, the pink glow was enough to surround and destroy the black aura, purifying the tiny sliver of jewel as it did so. However, the heart did not crumble into dust as she had expected once the glow retreated.

"Wha…?" Turning toward the approaching shard hunters, she passed the jar to the monk.

"Ah," Miroku mumbled in thought. "So this is all that remained of his humanity...Then I suppose it must be dealt with through the usual means." And, without further warning, he dropped the jar where it fell and shattered on the hard earth.

If they had been expecting some form of grand declaration that the enemy had finally been defeated, they were sorely disappointed. However, as Kagome bent and retrieved the jewel shard, a miniscule piece that would have been near impossible to find otherwise, there was a sense of release that none in the small group had felt in quite a long time. No grand declaration could have made them feel as powerful and great as that internal sigh.

They were there for some minutes before the kit moved, signaling the end of the moment. The monk immediately turned his attention to his hand, something he had been reluctant to do until they completed the jewel. But with only Kohaku's shard missing and with Kagura nearby, this seemed like the opportune moment.

"Miroku?" the miko questioned softly, sensing his hesitation.

"If it's gone…I believe I have come to depend on it."

She nodded solemnly and took hold of his staff as he unwrapped the prayer beads from his cursed hand. The others had moved out of the way but were not expecting the wind that burst forth. With no small amount of dread, the monk closed the kazaana and turned sad eyes to the wind sorceress.

"I don't know," she admitted softly, turning her attention to the ground. "He said…he said you were foolish to believe his words. But…but it could be me. As Naraku's incarnation, the curse may find my existence as enough to continue…"

Trailing off, the wind sorceress bravely met the eyes of her accusers.

"What do you think will happen, Kagura?" Kagome asked softly.

"I…I believe that without Naraku alive, the curse will not expand or spread to your kin. I believe it took him some amount of conscious effort to transfer it to each new generation. I could be wrong."

"If…" the monk began slowly. "If the curse spreads, threatens the life of me or my loved ones…can I find you?"

Understanding his question, she met his honest gaze before nodding resolutely.

"If you must find me…just ask the wind."

Her business done, the former minion turned and began to walk away, still unsure of whether any display of strength would be welcome. As she passed the miko, the young woman laid a hand on her shoulder. The sorceress stopped but did not turn.

"Kagura…I'll do what I can to stop Kouga from looking for you."

Smiling, the sorceress nodded again before she continued her exit.

It was a scene Kagome would look back upon at odd times in the future and think she'd never seen something so hopeful as that. The sorceress walking into the woods, into the sunset, her shadow long and her very aura one of infinite release and hopeful fear… It was a picture of one gifted with a second chance.

It was an image she vowed she would never forget.

It was spoiled by the incredulous voice of the hanyou once the wind user was safely out of hearing range.

"Why the hell did you let her go?"

"Kagura is not one for subterfuge. The heart, the shards, her admittance that her survival could determine my death…I sensed no lies in her. If she truly thinks that the Kazaana will not spread or further threaten my life, I will believe her."

"Really? So you really believe that if something goes wrong, you can just ask the damn wind and she'll come by and let you kill her?" The hanyou's suspicion seemed to be spreading to the exterminator and fox, but the monk and miko remained optimistic.

"Yes. I believe exactly that."

Without further explanation, Miroku turned and walked ahead, continuing on the course they had been following earlier. It wasn't long before Kagome came to walk beside him though it was some time before she spoke.

"You felt it too, huh?" she whispered excitedly.

"I felt a release of evil intent from my hand, yes."

"I really don't think it's what Naraku had in mind for your curse. I always thought it was a lose/lose situation. You keep it, you protect yourself but die. You lose it, you live but without your greatest weapon….but now….I really don't think this was part of his master plan."

"Yes, the thought crossed my mind as well. However, I believe it has everything to do with the intentions of his remaining incarnations."

"You mean…"

"It exists as long as Naraku, or part of him, exists. But without the mal intent…."

"I get it." She smiled up at the young monk. "You are very wise, Miroku."

"Why thank you, Lady Kagome…"

Within seconds, a smack and a scream of "pervert" rent the air. With it, all tension that had yet to be dissolved dissipated into calm contentment.

* * *

The talk with Kouga had not gone as well as it could have, but it was to be expected. Really, nothing had been in the wolf demon's favor. They wanted his jewel shards, they wanted him to forget his anger towards Kagura, they wanted him to forget his supposed love for Kagome…Negotiations had finally broken down and as the wolf and hanyou fought, the miko had channeled her frustration into energy for a run. 

However, tearing through the forest with an air of distraction, she felt none of the release she had hoped to find. Instead, now that she was away from the bothersome demons, she felt her mind drawn to another bothersome male.

"Everything has changed," she murmured as she easily leapt over a fallen branch.

And it was true. Since her death and subsequent resurrection, the demon lord had been distant. He no longer participated in their games, no longer made any move to make contact with her, no longer did anything more than watch her with an air of godliness.

His demeanor had a similar effect on her. He seemed untouchable, looked untouchable, acted untouchable, and therefore she refrained from touching him. Their relationship had shifted from what could have been the most odd and satisfying love of their lives to that of deity and worshiper.

She hated it. She had never felt so small and insignificant before.

But then, that had always been the problem. Unconsciously she began slowing to a jog as the thought began to solidify in her mind. Sesshoumaru had always seen her as less than him and so when the obvious attraction had begun, he sought to justify it by forcing her to prove herself. And she had obliged, because she had always believed she would eventually reach a level that he would deem acceptable. Now, however, her death had proven that no matter what level she reached, she would remain human. No matter what power she accumulated, she would always be subject to restrictions he faced not. Her death must have been a slap in the face to him, irrefutable proof that, in his biased eyes, she would never be worthy of his affection.

Anger spurred her to run again, her legs pushing her faster until her skin once more began to glow slightly.

She had allowed it, she realized. She had allowed him to think less of her by placing him on a pedestal of God-like power. By looking up to him, relying on him for her safety and life, she had belittled herself. All out stopping her progress into the heart of the forest, she leaned against a tree as the idea came to her.

They, as they were now, could never have formed a working relationship. It would have taken years, decades even. While he needed her to climb higher, she needed him to lower himself from the clouds. Otherwise, they would have never met on equal footings. Without his willingness to view her as something more than an inferior, they would have been stuck playing the game forever. Now that she finally was ready for the rest of her life to begin, she was not sure if she was willing to restrict herself to being his toy. If she did, then everything she had accomplished, everything she had achieved would be worthless. Staying with him, allowing him to continue his tests of her worth would only be proving her lack of strength.

Still, giving him up was not an option she was willing to consider. He was necessary. Even if he did not have a starring role, she would need him in her life. And still, she believed that all he needed was time. Time to realize that while he may be more powerful, he was still fallible. Time to realize he was not a deity.

And, oddly enough, time was something she had available in abundance.

Pushing off from the tree, she felt a sense of peace fill her being as she once again began running toward where he was most likely waiting. She would state her purpose, state her intentions. He would be unable to refute what she said. She would give him an offer he couldn't refuse. And, should he refuse, she would give him five hundred years to reconsider.

She smiled sadly as she saw his figure in the distance. Leaving this place had always been in the plan. Despite her love of the Feudal Era, she had never had any hopes of remaining.

Still, it was bittersweet and painful. She resolved not to think of it further. It was done. The choice had been made. There was no turning back. Once her business with the shikon was completed, she would leave for her own time. Looking back would do no good. If there was anything that her encounters with the lord had taught her, it was that being alive was all that she could ask for. Living in her memories would only demean her existence. Resolved, she approached the waiting taiyoukai and looked him in the eye before smiling wryly.

"I really do love you," she said with a sigh. His eyebrow twitched. She continued, undaunted. "Or rather, I love what you are and what you could be."

Golden eyes widening were the only indication that he gave any thought to her words.

"But really, I am tired of trying to live up to your standards. Doing so is only making me live for you. That is not what you taught me."

She sighed. His countenance, though still, spoke volumes of his unwillingness to end his ways. It only solidified her resolution. Turning on her heal, she immediately broke into a steady jog.

No turning back, she assured herself. There would be other meetings. She still had work to do here. But should he not see her point in time, she would continue with her plan.

The Past was bothersome. The Future was uncertain. The Present, with its quickly darkening forest, whispering trees, soft earth, and brisk breeze was all the more welcoming.

* * *

**June**

The wood of the well was cool against her back. The scant shade it offered was gladly accepted on this hot day. Twirling the completed jewel in front of her eyes, she reflected briefly on its completion.

In the end, getting Kouga to relinquish his shards had been the easiest. Getting him to release his vendetta against Kagura had been much more difficult. Getting him to realize Kagome would only and always be a friend had been down right impossible. The wolf still harbored affections for her, though they had made him aware of her imminent departure.

Kohaku had been found wandering the forest in a half daze. Oddly enough, the treacherous removal of the shard did not result in his death. Upon later reflection, Kagome and Miroku figured that long term exposure to the jewel's powers had granted him his life. The theory went a long way to explain the pinkish tint to his aura that the miko had noticed that night. It seemed Naraku's influence was being minimized by Nature itself, the stars aligning so that those influenced by the evil hanyou did not suffer unduly after his destruction.

It was this line of thought that also seemed to explain the young slayer's attitude. While there was still much work to be done, he was for the large part free of the burden of his memories. Kagome felt it was more likely that he had chosen to forget his past and she couldn't blame him. There was no point in remembering if it brought nothing but pain and kept him from living in the present. Still, it was bound to catch up to him eventually. She just hoped he would be strong enough to deal with it.

A hot breeze floated by, stirring her hair and cooling her exposed skin. Yes, he would be strong enough. There were no doubts about it.

She had said her goodbyes at the village so that she could get this last moment. It might have been selfish to want her last memory of the Feudal Era to be tearless, but she did. Therefore, she had left her friends, her dear close friends, behind and spent her last few moments waiting, meditating, and wondering if he would come.

It was doubtful he wouldn't show. At the very least, he would be curious. She knew well enough that he would not come to proclaim his undying love, but she did hope that he would acknowledge her position in his life enough to bid her farewell.

It was difficult not to pray for him to be waiting on the other side of the well, 500 years into the present. It was terribly difficult not to think of what it would mean if he wasn't. Such thoughts were useless and changed nothing. She simply had to have faith that if she lived her life fully, without regret, everything would fall into place. She simply had to believe that the simple joy of living was enough to offset all pains that befell her along the way…including him.

A prickling at the edge of her senses stirred her from her thoughts. Opening eyes that had drifted shut, she turned her attention to the edge of the clearing.

He was easy to spot. His pristine white clothing and hair picked up the sun's rays and made him a star ascended to earth, glowing with stunning radiance.

He approached, which was more than she had ever expected him to do. In the wordless language he had adopted to show affection to her, it was equivalent to stating she was worthy of his consideration.

It still wasn't enough. He still wasn't ready. And then, neither was she.

"I'm leaving," she said from her spot against the well once he was close enough for her to determine his expressions. He remained blank faced.

"I think I understand part of it," she said softly. "Coming here was always meant as both a beginning and an end, just in the wrong order."

A slightly raised eyebrow showed his interest.

"I was here to complete the jewel, end the troubles of the Shikon…but for every ending there must be a beginning…"

Stillness.

"We were never meant to finish anything here. I don't even think we were meant to do more than start…"

Stillness, though she thought she might have detected a growing intensity in his eyes.

"If you are interested in seeing the end with me, find me. It shouldn't be too hard."

A tightening of his jaw told her plenty.

"Higurashi Kagome. Higurashi Shrine. On this very spot, 500 years in the future. June the 10th of 2004."

All her planned words had been said. All that was left was a goodbye.

Pulling herself up, she absently dusted the dirt off her skirt, delaying the inevitable. He, however, had no intentions of letting her go so quietly. An arm darted around her waist and she was against him, basking in his attention, accepting his seeking lips. Before she could completely lose herself in the sensation, effectively return the sentiment, he pulled back and flung her off.

"You are still human," he spoke softly, resolutely, his manner belying the passion he had just moments before expressed.

Sighing, she rose from the hot ground, noting the new scrapes and bruises. This was one of the reasons their game had to end. Dusting herself off once more, she approached him again, certainty gathering with each step. Stepping up to him, she merely stared into his eyes for a long moment before raising a hand to skim along his cheek.

"Yes, I am," she finally stated. "Find me when you decide that doesn't matter."

In the end, turning away from him was much easier than she had anticipated. She didn't look back when she reached the well, and she didn't look back as she sat and pulled her legs over the rim. She didn't even look back as she pushed off and plunged into the darkness.

* * *

_It's not the end, so still the torches and pitchforks.  
If you like the story, the site **A Single Spark** is currently doing its Annual Awards, and this story, as well as all my others under JustAnotherGirl/Just A Starving Writer, are up for several awards. While I can't link, I can say its easy to find. Check it out and take a gander at all the other great stories that were nominated this year. Voting ends April the 22nd._


	10. Time Extended

**Running Blind**  
_Just A Starving Writer_

**_Disclaimer:_** nope, not mine.  
**_Author's Plea:_** Honestly? I didn't think I'd ever finish it. My original ending just would not come out. Then, today, I got this ending and it came out pretty much exactly like this. I'm taking that as a sign, even if it still disappoints me. Maybe I waited too long...  
Relatively unedited. Now complete.  
Enjoy if you can.

**Part 10: Time Extended **

**January**

As she tied her worn shoes, Kagome thought briefly how her entire life had been decided by running.

Running from Mistress Centipede, she had come across the wakened Inuyasha. Running after the jewel shards, she had found Shippo and Miroku. Running after Naraku, figuratively and literally, she had stumbled upon Sango. Running for the sheer joy of running, she had started a relationship with Sesshoumaru.

Now, running was every much a necessary part of her life as breathing and eating. She had to run. There was no questioning it. There was no denying it. Since she had crossed over for the last time that hot June day, she hadn't once stopped running.

She ran everywhere and everyplace, traveling according to her heart's whimsy. Her family had not bothered worrying about it. They knew she was skilled enough to take care of herself. At the very least, she could easily run away. There was no questioning that.

However, here had started a bit differently.

It began with a subconscious change during her last words with the taiyoukai. She had given him the date, yes, but she had given him the date of one year in her future. In the end, she knew she had needed time to grow as much as he.

And so she had waited, patiently waited, filling the time with studying and running. She had quickly become a regular part of the evening street life. Like clockwork, every night she ran through the neighborhoods, speeding down the streets in her endless search for Life, the yellow gloom of the streetlights blocking out the pink tint her skin would still radiate at times.

She had waited. One long year had passed. The day had arrived… without him. He was not there.

It had been so tempting to give up then, but she had sworn. She had sworn that Life was most important, even more important than him. He just needed more time, she rationalized. He just wasn't quite ready yet.

Convincing herself that he would come eventually had been easy. Still, the shrine, with its memories and constant flow of strangers, only fed her unease and her runs grew longer and farther each night until it became something of street legend, the glowing girl who raced by leaving a feeling of peacefulness in her wake.

When she left Japan, she had tried to convince herself she wasn't escaping with only minimal success. She justified it with her new doctrine: if it took running away to Europe to ensure that she would continue to fully enjoy her life, she would do it. There was no shame in survival as long as she did it for the right reasons. She couldn't see any reason better than Living.

Several months of hard work helped get her accepted at a University and, rather than fly or drive the long miles between Russia where she had landed and France where she would go to school, she packed what few belongings she would take with her and set off running. Heading southwest, she traversed the lands slowly, following lonely roads for the most part. There were relatively few problems, though it was a bit hard convincing people that no, she wasn't hitchhiking and no, she didn't want a ride.

When she finally arrived at the campus just before classes began, she was grateful for a place to settle though she would not have traded her months of exploration for anything. Her nights jogging through the mountains had taught her even more about the joys of living. It was a lesson she held dear even as she began studying History and Geology.

Her path through the jungle of education had been rather straightforward. After spending so much time in the past, she had become interested in how so much had changed through the years. She knew what her boring high school text books had told her, but there were unanswered questions and facts that directly contradicted with what she had seen for herself. It interested her.

Geology had been the result of her travels through the mountains. The sights had been magnificent and made her ponder how such things were possible. It had started as a curiosity in the Feudal Era, one mostly diminished by the seriousness of their mission, but, alone on a road in the middle of empty country, she had speculated. How much of the scenery was through natural processes, and how much had been a result of youkai? It was a valid question of the changes supposed mythology could work on the land, and one she intended on exploring.

She had approached school this time with a more positive attitude. It wasn't so hard once she was actually able to concentrate on it and didn't miss weeks at a time. The only instances when she felt the prickling of uncertainty were when it was time for another run, something that she could never deny herself.

Kagome wanted to laugh at the absurdity of it, as she finished adjusting her shoes and began pulling the leggings into a more comfortable position. She never had grown accustomed to the spandex but had started wearing them to prevent people from commenting on her legs. Her years fighting demons in the Feudal Era as well as the violent games she had played with Sesshoumaru had left her scarred, something her two month long cross country journey had not helped. While she could care less about the red and white lines that marred her skin, the looks of pity and pointed questioning were things she could do without.

Fully ready, Kagome stood and stretched her arms over her head, pulling her back into position and tightening some of her leg muscles. Smiling softly, she headed for the door, and responded kindly to her roommate's call for her to take care.

Of course she would. Life was too precious to be entirely reckless, no matter what people suspected from her behavior. She had too much to live for.

After all, he still hadn't come yet. There was no doubt that he would, when he was ready. He would find her. If there was anything certain in life, that was it.

**

* * *

**

**May**

It had taken three days this time to turn in all her lengthy essays, take her finals, and relieve all her family that she was still alive, not to mention participate in obligatory end of semester drinks with her study group. Three days of complete and utter hell.

Therefore, it came as no surprise that she was happy when she exited her apartment and into the open air. Happy beyond measurement…until she noticed she had slept through the whole day because of what had been intended as a small nap.

However, her disappointment faded in light of the pure beauty of the land around her. The moonlight, the marvelously old architecture, the crisp air… it was temptation in the form of a serene environment, a temptation near impossible to resist. Though Kagome was by no means weak, this was simply not something she could pass up. After all, it was completely innocent to want to enjoy such a simple thing.

Having convinced herself that there was absolutely no possible way for this simple pleasure to cause any harm, she locked up her apartment and took off at a run.

The town rushed by in darkened grey blur as the cool evening air breathed life into lungs that were tired of the dust of ancient libraries. As her muscles fell into a most welcome rhythm, she felt more alive than she had in a long time and, in fact, more in love with life than ever before.

Kagome was well aware of her location. After traveling all over this section of France for almost two years, she had learnt some measure of navigation and the streets surrounding her home were second nature to her. Thus, she was expert when it came to avoiding all the potholes and busy sidewalks. Ducking speedily around the few late night pedestrians and jumping over curbs added to the odd sight she surely made for all there to see her. However, it had by now become something of a routine the townspeople had grown accustomed to: the pretty, young Japanese woman who ran like the wind with a smile on her face.

She was worried for a split second when the thought of dangerous criminals crossed her mind, but she let it slide by her with the wind to flutter into nonexistence. After all, in this town, it was rare to see anything dangerous. As well, there was simply no way something bad could happen on a night as alive as this. This kind of night only allowed positive encounters or, at the very least, picturesque moonlit fountains.

And thus it was that she burst beyond the buildings into what must have been her destination: a rather large opening amidst the town, paved with ancient stones as the white light of the moon lit them to an eerily beautiful brilliance and dominated by a large and beautiful water fountain. Approaching the sculpture without allowing her pace to slow, she almost missed the being she shared the plaza with.

The uncomfortable feeling of eyes watching her finally brought her to a rather sudden stand still. Frozen in mid stride, she turned her panting head slowly to the side to spot her spectator. A perfect match to the location, the taiyoukai glowed with the moon, frosted by the pale light on his shoulders and the pale stones at his feet.

Surprise ruled supreme. While discomfort may have been more welcome, Kagome simply couldn't force the emotion to the surface, not with the beauty of the night. For his part, the youkai lord remained still, watching every breath of the girl who had now turned to face him.

Whatever she had been expecting, it was doubtful his reaction was it. Heaving an obvious sigh, he let his shadowed eyes roam the plaza before he turned and slowly walked away from her. She watched him long after he passed into the darkened streets.

It wasn't until the echo of a car backfiring startled her did she move. Taking the last few steps to the fountain, she sat upon its lip and struggled to think.

It had been him. She was sure of it. Despite his changed appearance, which she could discern even in the odd lighting and at a distance, despite his modern clothing, there was no mistaking the taiyoukai. But… how could it be the proud demon when the man she had just seen had looked every bit resigned? How could it be him when he had walked away with such weariness?

She admitted that several times over the past few years she had dreamed of what a 500- years-older Sesshoumaru would look like. While she had always said, quite honestly, that she would still love him no matter how much his appearance had changed, she had never expected this. All the times she had dreamt of this encounter, all the times she made herself press onward if only for the chance to see him again… Surely that could not be it?

She growled with frustration as she rose and began to pace in front of the ever churning water.

Why had he walked away? Why had he found her after 500 years only to turn his back on her? And, most importantly, why had he done it with such a definite and solemn way? What had changed so drastically in the last few minutes that made him no longer eager to be reunited?

She turned an angry gaze in the direction in which he had disappeared. Who did he think he was, making her wait almost three years longer than she had intended, only to walk away when she first set eyes on him?

With a noise that sounded suspiciously like a snarl, she took off, intent upon finding him and forcing answers. Tearing down the almost deserted street, she searched everywhere for the white hair, short now but no less prominent, that she had waited so long for.

It took almost half an hour before she spotted his head among a small crowd.

"Sesshoumaru!" she called out without slowing her pace. He stopped but did not turn to face her rapidly approaching form. The stiffness in his pose, the droop in his shoulders, the overall fatigue that seemed to blanket him stopped her as well a scant few feet away. The crowd of unconcerned citizens went about their business, ignoring the tense couple in their midst.

Her anger was forgotten in favor of dread. Remembering her last words, remembering why she had given him so much time, she decided to face one problem at once.

"Does it still matter?" she asked quietly, aware that even now he could hear her. "You waited three years, but you found me. So, does it still matter what I am?"

He was still for an indeterminate amount of time before shaking his head slightly.

"Then why? Why did you leave?" she asked plaintively, tears struggling to the surface.

He moved with what could only be a sigh before he turned to face her. If his body language had confused her, his expression only made her horribly sad. In the more telling light of the street with such little distance between them, there was no hiding his countenance. While age had been definitely good to him, there was a certain weariness in each new crease, in every slacked feature. This was not the face of a young demon with the world at hand. This was the face of a man who had seen far too much in his life… and knew there was still far much to see.

And in an instant, Kagome recognized her own mistake. She had assumed the time would mature him, but she had not considered what life would have been like for him, nor was she able to truly comprehend it now. It was unnecessary to speculate; his tired eyes, his faded youth told her everything.

"I'm sorry," she cried before throwing herself at him, relieved when he at least allowed her that even though it broke her heart that he seemed hesitant to return the embrace.

"I'm sorry," she murmured continuously as she tried to snap him out of this dullness through sheer force of will.

After all that he had silently taught her…

A thought snapped into place with instant clarity. Releasing his waist, she brought her hands to his cheeks and demanded his full attention.

"You are a fool," she stated solidly despite the tears that remained. "A fool to forget so easily."

Without a pause, she pulled his face to hers and kissed him to bring the message through. All her worries faded as he responded with as much passion as she remembered, but in this time, there were no more games.

This time, she remained exactly where she belonged.

**

* * *

**

**…Time…**

"It is time to return."

"But the night is so beautiful!"

"You heard your father. It's time to start back."

"But, mother…"

"Don't you start. Go on now."

With a grunt of displeasure that did not match the sparkle in his eyes, the boy turned and ran back in the direction they had come, leaving the two adults alone for a moment. Kagome, still glowing slightly pink, looked over at her partner, who did not look the least bit ruffled from their exercise. With a soft smile, she purposefully strode up and kissed him, happy beyond belief that despite their child, they still had time for each other.

While the years changed everything around them, they stayed relatively the same. He was still quiet and powerful. She was still smiling and protective. They still kissed with unreal fervor. They still ran.

Time did not seem to touch even Kagome, though she spent precious little time worrying about it. She decided once that her lack of obvious aging was most likely a product of the several things, namely the Shikon Jewel she still wore on her neck and the bracelet made from remains of Tenseiga. Some days, she wondered if perhaps because she failed to age merely because she failed to concern herself with aging.

Overall, she paid it no mind. There were much better uses for time.

The past and present taiyoukai released her suddenly and pointed her in the direction their son had gone before she was even quite aware of what was happening. It wasn't until he leant down and whispered in her ear that she responded.

"Run."

She did.

* * *

**_Fin._**


End file.
